Sunday, July 20, 2008

Feeling Foolish

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."
Isaiah 55:8

When we were first making plans to adopt we thought we had it all figured out. We were going to adopt a little girl from Guatemala. I contacted several different agencies & thought we had found just the right one. I excitedly filled out the application, but something prevented me from mailing it in. No matter how right it seemed I just couldn't bring myself to mail it in.

Some months later I learned of the country of Haiti. I can tell you quite ashamedly that a year ago I didn't care in the least about this country. Thankfully God kept working on me and I finally admitted to myself & my husband that God was telling me our daughter was in Haiti and I thought we should take the plunge. Jeff offered to pray about it & eventually it was made clear to both of us that this was indeed the right path. Praise the Lord!

Again, we made plans. We were going to adopt from Children of the Promise. We were hoping to adopt a sweet girl named Ella, but the Lord had other plans for her. We were sad that we were not her family. How could God send us on this path to Haiti & then take this girl away from us?

As I sit here thinking about our precious Anchise all I can say is that I feel foolish. I feel foolish that I thought my ways were better than His ways - my plans were better than His plans. He knows the plans he has for us. He assured us of that in Jeremiah 29:11. If we had not been open to His direction we may have very well missed the opportunity to find Anchise. If we had focused solely on our plans we would have missed a journey that has gone far beyond anything we could have imagined. Quite miraculously we've learned to ignore what appears impossible to the world & trust in God with wild, reckless abandon.

So, once again we are seeking Your direction Lord. Your ways are better than our ways and I am praying for your guidance regarding the trip to Haiti in September. I am praying for this trip to be Your will, not mine. I am praying for Your provision. Most of all I am praying that You will use me to be Your hands & feet while I am there.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.
Mark 8:35

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lord, We thank you for all that you have brought Stephaine and Jeff through. The ups and the downs. Lord we ask for your will to be done. Your timing Lord. show Stephaine what it is you want her to be doing and provide the way for her to do it. Lord, she is trusting in you. Thank for all that you have provided for them and their family. Thank for the love that they show for you.
Bless this family.

Greg's Wife said...

Dear Stephanie, Your story sounds so much like mine it's almost funny. I can really relate to how you're feeling! I am praying for His will to be done with regard to this trip, your paperwork, finances, the whole shebang... Love, Cara

The Gang's All Here! said...

I know you know all this, and it's such a comfort to me that there are so many of us in this same boat, but His ways are perfect and His plans are so much better than our plans. If nothing else (and believe me, I know there is sooooo much else!) we are all learning through this that He is sovereign, He is good, and He sustains! Are we not?!

Hugs to you - we're waiting and trusting too!

Tracy said...

Stephanie,
Thanks for always being so vulnerable in sharing how God is speaking to you through the ups and downs of this process. I appreciate reading your insights. It keeps me focused on the Lord in the midst of all the uncertainties of our situation right now. I needed this reminder again! We'll continue to pray for you and your family as you wait on God's timing to get Anchise. She is so beutiful and is so blessed to have all of you as her family.

Tracy

steffany said...

I remember all the twists and turns God took us through in our adoption. What a wild and beautiful ride.

I read often
Psalms 19:21
Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Kristina said...

I understand and will be praying!

Kathy Eden said...

Praying!!!