I've been struggling. Lately I have been down right weary & I know it is because slowly & silently sin & doubt have been creeping into this adoption. And of course, that's just how satan likes it. He wants to slide his way into the picture without being noticed. He has been hard at work and up until recently it hadn't even caught my attention.
I have very few things left to do to finish our dossier. If I'm being honest, the truth is that I've been avoiding them because I haven't trusted God to provide for us. You see when these items are finished we will have to pay our fee to get the legal process in Haiti started. It is sad & sinful that I am holding back from starting this process because I am not trusting God to provide for our remaining fees. It is not fair to Anchise or to our family. That ends today.
As a good friend recently reminded me this is His adoption, not mine - and I need Him for this. I am tired & cannot go on without His support. I need to stay in His word for strength, peace & trust. I need to lean on Him more & rely less on my own pitiful strength. I can pray that people's hearts will be softened and will step forward to help us. He will finish this good work He has begun.
I'm laying it down Lord, it's in Your hands...
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.