Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Love/Hate Relationship

On any given day or any given moment I have a love/hate relationship with adoption. Lately I've been feeling like I just need to take a break from thinking & worrying about it all. There have been some things going on that have needed extra prayer (is there such a thing as EXTRA prayer...I mean really, you can never have too much!).

I feel like God has been telling me to chill out! So today I decided to do just that and go to the local pool for free swim with the kids. I was blessed to run into several moms that I know and have some adult conversation. I was even introduced to someone new...someone who does foster care...someone who has adopted. Guess what we talked about? Yep, you guessed it - adoption.

The truth is that adoption is thoroughly monotonous. It is emotionally and physically draining. It stretches you in the most uncomfortable ways, but somehow joy is found in walking in obedience. It gives you an understanding of God's love that is hard to explain. I was blessed to be able to talk about adoption today. It reminded me why I am doing this. It is an act after His own heart. I am blessed to be on this journey.
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

8 comments:

Amanda said...

Girl, I'm FEELIN' your pain. It's NUMBINGLY painful now. But, we'll walk it until He tells us to stop...

Lena Wright said...

I get it. You said it so well.

Know I'm praying.

hugs,

Lena

Sean and Lisa said...

Well said! Thanks for the reminder...sometimes after the child is home it is easy to get bogged down in the "stuff" and forget that as you said "it's an act after His own heart."
Big hugs and lots of prayers sent your way...

Kathy Eden said...

Beautifully put Stephanie! And that is so true about what Sean & Lisa said too.

Lisa said...

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way,remember Satan has a way of sneaking up on ya when you are most vulnerable....giving you all kinds of bad feelings and making you negative and sad...patience:God's timing is allways perfect..praying for you and your little girl....The blog looks nice by the way...

Annie said...

I think I know what you mean, but you won't feel this way later. I remember wishing I hadn't "told" anyone (like that were possible!) But it reminded me of being in the 9th month of pregnancy with Aidan - I'd appeared to be in the sixth month when I was in about the third, so I'd detect weariness on people's faces when they asked me over, and over, and over (or so it seemed), "No baby yet?" It is exhausting. You feel as though YOU are letting people down.

At least when you are pregnant, they KNOW there will be a baby someday and fairly soon. With adoption you get the sense people may not believe you have your act together. As though, it is in our hands!

Hang in there! Sounds like God wants to keep you "on topic".

Brandy and Troy said...

Praying for you!!

Michelle said...

Love the new blog look. Glad you had some time of refreshment.. I so get this love/hate thing.