Saturday, October 4, 2008

Feeling a Little Bipolar

Today has been weird. I feel like I don't know what exactly I should be feeling.

I am happy to be home...I miss Haiti.
I'm so thankful I get to hug my husband and kids...but someone is missing.
Holding and loving on Anchise was so special...does she think I'm just another person who left her?
Life here is easier...easier isn't always better.
I'm glad to see my friends & family...I miss the friends I made on the trip and in Haiti.

I guess I'm just decompressing & trying to adjust to reality. Let the rollercoaster continue...

12 comments:

Kathy said...

I think we have all felt that. It's probably pretty normal. I'm ready to go back but then again I don't want to.

Eric and Michelle said...

Oh Stephanie what an emotional conflict. Jesus bless you. One day Anchise will be home and both worlds will come together.

Kristina said...

sigh

My dear friend you said it so well! the conflict we all go thru upon returning from our first, second, third trips home! It is so hard.

Todd and I were just talking today how it feels like we are living in two different worlds.

Anchise may not cognativly say, "Hey that is my mom", but her spirit DEFINALTY remembers you are! There is something very different about a mother's touch, even the nannies can't duplicate that. So stop squeezing your cheese and just know God loves her too and he whispers to her spirit every night that you chose her!

I love you!

Kathy Eden said...

Ditto to what Kristina said! It usually takes me about a month to get back to normal...whatever that is...after a trip to Haiti. {{{ Hugs }}}

angela said...

:) i was gonna say, "that sounds about right."

be at peace, the Lord our God is on His throne!!

Amanda said...

You go girl for only feeling a "little" bipolar. I would probably be OFF the CHARTS bipolar :~)

Colleen said...

Well, now I coulda told ya you were a little bipolar... Ya didn't have to go to Haiti to figure that one out. Just kidding, Cheese!

Welcome to the world of living separate lives while your family lives miles apart. I pray the Lord heals your heart and you are able to peacefully wait throughout Anchise's adoption.

Love you, friend.

Lena Wright said...

I can so relate Stephanie....I definitely left a piece of my heart in Haiti-2 pieces, more precisely.

Thanks for sharing-glad you're home-and 'get' how you are feeling....

BethPie said...

Coming home is an odd adjustment. It definitely takes a while to start feeling remotely normal again. And I think people who return from Haiti will never, ever be the "same."

I've loved reading about your trip - - the pictures are precious!!

Laura said...

your dd is beautiful. and yes, coming home from haiti is one of the most difficult adjustments ever. you are torn to the core of who you are when you leave your baby behind to come home to your other babies. it is so incredibly intense.

hugs

Wife to the Rockstar said...

It is always odd coming home. You truly feel like you leave part of you behind.

Tereasa said...

God bless you!