Monday, January 11, 2010

Kicking Me When I'm Down

Last week was B-A-D! It was a horrible, awful, no good, very bad week. I was overwhelmed by feelings of sadness that we are still riding this rollercoaster. Another week with no passport and seemingly no one in any hurry to get that task completed.

In typical fashion to top off my feelings of helplessness and disdain ~ our furnace went out! When I realized it wasn't working (around 11 pm when everyone else was in bed), I fell down on the floor in a big lump and cried the ugly cry. But it wasn't really about the furnace at all (although I shuddered at the additional expense when I am trying desperately to SAVE for the trip). It just all hit me like a ton of bricks that she is not home yet. Other families that started in Ghana when we did have had their children home for a few months now and frankly that is a bitter pill to swallow.

I know there are many people praying for us and for Mercy's homecoming and I know that and God's grace is how I get through the days and weeks of the endless, mind-numbing wait. The weekend was better and today I am feeling OK. With God's help we will make it through this and I hope be better for it on the other side. Please keep praying for that passport so our beautiful girl can come home to a family that loves her so much!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

14 comments:

Lisa said...

Look at that beautiful girl...I know you are having a hard time and this is so hard but GODS timing is perfect,this we have to believe.I am almost sure it will not be much longer for you guys..prayers are being lifted up right now for you..

Kristina said...

oh my sweet dear friend...words just don't seem to be enough right now.
She is so beautiful and I can not wait to rejoice with you when she is finally home!
Hmmmm....another trip to the butterfly house?
I LOVE you and your family my long lost sister. Know we are praying!
Catch my hugs!

Stephanie said...

Such a beautiful smile, beautiful eyes ... praying her home to you!!

Kathy Eden said...

Praying!

Michelle said...

I love you my sweet friend. I feel your pain for you. I am trusting and believing for you. Thanks for being real and authentic. How incredible the joy will be after the journey you have had. Much love!

Lena Just Lena said...

sending you more hugs and prayers. Thanks for being honest and real.
love you.

Bill and Christina said...

Oh Stephanie... I am so sorry that your heart is hurting. She is breath taking! Keep taking that pain back to the Lord. His grace is sufficent for you.

Stacy said...

Your daughter is beautiful! I understand how frustrating and difficult each and every day is while waiting, especially for something so seemingly simple! We waited over 6 months for our daughters birth certificate (we adopted her from Guatemala.) It was a very dark and trying time. I pray she will be home soon, and that God would give you all that you stand in need of until then!

Sean and Lisa said...

Love your transparency but am so sorry for your aching heart. Wish I could do something, anything, to speed this very long process up and get your sweet girl in your waiting arms. All I can offer is prayer and that we are doing faithfully for your family and precious Mercy.

Big, Big hugs friend!

Laurie said...

Oh it never fails - unbelievable the furnace too....

I know the wait is painful & I really hope you have your daughter home soon.

I'm so sorry.

Hugs

Amanda said...

Oh, how I understand the ugly cries, ugly days, ugly weeks.

I've been praying for you guys and I pray that today is the day you hear the news you long for.

(((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

She is so beautiful. Waiting is one of the hardest things .....

Praying she is home VERY VERY SOON.

sea salt MOSAIC said...

Stephanie -

Thank you for Psalm 34:18. Amidst the earthquake in Haiti, it has been a treasure to my soul.

Praying for that menacing passport.

julie

Sean and Lisa said...

Thinking of you especially today as I hear the reports of the earthquake in Haiti. I know a part of your heart is still there and I'm sure you are wondering about her. Praying for her safety and for all the people of Haiti.
Praying still for Mercy and your family too!
Hugs!