Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Scared to Start

Fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

I've been feeling semi-overwhelmed at the thought of starting again and the root of the problem is fear. Fear of loss. Fear of choosing the wrong country. Fear of not having the money we need. Fear of what others will think. Fear of failure.

The problem for me is this - if I am choosing fear it means I am not choosing trust. This thing called fear is keeping me from reaching the potential God has for my life. If I don't step out in faith by filling out an application or applying for a grant then I have put fear above what God can do.

God has brought me to this place. Lord, help me to be "an ounce more devoted than I am afraid".
But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in you.
I praise God for what he has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
Psalm 56:3-4

8 comments:

Amanda said...

God is stretching you. May you be all the more in love with Him in the end for all that He has accomplished as you grow in grace!

Sarah and Tim said...

oh Stephanie. I pray that you will overcome this fear soon!

crispy said...

Trusting with you...

MOM said...

TRUST THE LORD STEFF. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU. IF ADOPTION IS WHAT HE WANTS FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HE WILL SHOW YOU THE WAY. GO TO YOUR PRAYER CLOSET(WHICH FOR ME IS MY BEDROOM) CALL OUT TO HIM AND LISTEN FOR HIS VOICE. HE WILL GUIDE AND DIRECT YOU. I LOVE YOU MY CHILD. TRUST IT IS THE ONLY WAY.

kayder1996 said...

I also found that fear of what others would think to be a hard thing to get over. Generally, I am pretty good and letting what others think not bother me. But with adoption it was different. I was afraid of doing something risky and having it not work out. What would people think? The thought of people think I had failed (even it wasn't my fault but the fault of a government that wouldn't allow our adoption to continue) was overwhelming. I wish I had some good advice at dealing with that. A book that I found very encouraging was In a A Pit with A Lion on a Snowy Day. It really talks about God ordained risks and failures and His hand in all of it. Know you're not alone in those things you have felt.

Katy said...

Know that I am praying for you....I've been kind of too busy and depressed with the Haitian process to blog lately, but you are always in my prayers! May God lead your heart and bring you comfort as you trust in Him....I KNOW this is the road meant for your family because He alone has brought you this far.

Michelle said...

Love this. Was that last comment by Max Lucado? He is my favorite and I seem to recall that. I needed to be reminded myself. Great picture. I'm scared about tomorrow too.

Kristina said...

Praying for strength and sheer will to TRUST!!!!

Love ya!