Surrender

I'm afraid this may be a long one. So grab a cup of coffee or a soda of your choice and sit a while. I'm glad you're here...

When we first started our adoption process we were originally planning to adopt from Guatemala. This was before Guatemala closed. Although we found several good agencies and saw many beautiful children that needed homes we just never felt enough peace about it to actually send in an application.

One day I quite casually learned about adopting from Haiti. I'll be honest and say I didn't know or care the first thing about Haiti. However, the thought of bringing home a child from this country could not escape my mind. As the weeks went by the feeling only seemed stronger so I mentioned it to Jeff and asked him to pray about it.

One day before school started we were shopping out of town for kids clothes. A severe storm had gone through during the day and when we arrived home our phone lines weren't working. We checked with a neighbor and they had service so we knew it had to specifically be a problem at our house. Jeff checked the phone and line in the kitchen and didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He went to the bedroom to check the same in there. While he was there he started to pray about the adoption and asked God for direction as to where we were supposed to find our daughter. After he was done praying he unscrewed the little box from the wall and inside was a sticker that simply said, "assembled in Haiti". He came out of the bedroom with a big smile on his face and told me I was right - we were meant to adopt from Haiti. The next morning our phones were miraculously working again. Let's just say we dove in head first and have never looked back despite the financial obstacles in our path.

We originally applied to and planned to work with Children of the Promise. The problem came when we saw Anchise's photo on the Three Angels website as an available child - those eyes, those cheeks, that smile - we didn't stand a chance. We were sunk the minute we saw her. We applied to Three Angels and were soon the proud parents of our precious daughter.

Unfortunately, you most likely know how that ended. Once Anchise was taken back we didn't know what to do. Our precious girl was gone, but we planned that at the first of the year we would decide what to do.

2009 made it's grand entrance and with Three Angels not knowing when or if they would be taking in more children we decided to check out what our other options would be. Our first alternate was Marantha Orphanage, but they are unwilling to take us on at this time because of having three biological children. We've also found that to be the case with many other programs. It is just deemed too risky right now for people with more than two. We did have a lead on using ROTH, but although it is a VERY reputable program, the ongoing monthly childcare fees didn't seem like a good fit for us. To get to the point, it just seemed as though all doors to adopting from Haiti were closing. It didn't make sense since we seemed so sure we were called specifically to Haiti.

Part of the reason I was so weary last week was because I had been spinning my wheels checking on different programs trying to make things happen. One can only hear "no" so many times before you raise the white flag in surrender. And that's just what I did. I raised the flag and the conversation with God went something like this:

I can't do this anymore. I am weary Lord. I give it up to you. If the doors to Haiti are closed so be it. I will move on. I will "cut the cord". I get it Lord. We are not meant to adopt from Haiti. I don't know why everything pointed to the fact that we should, but it is obvious to me now that it is not to be. I am not going to make any more phone calls. I am not going to send any more e-mails. If you want me to adopt from Haiti then you will have to send someone to me. I. am. done.

So just TODAY we made the decision we were going to adopt from Ghana. I placed a call to our home study provider to see what it would take to get that updated for Ghana. I'd spoken to an agency that did work in Ghana. Ghana it is! Ghana is nice. Ghana is neat. Ghana is FAST. We are going to Ghana. Woo hoo for Ghana.

Then at 2:47 pm today God did just what I asked for. He sent someone to me. The e-mail went something like this:

Hey Stephanie! I came across your name today. I believe you guys had decided to go with another orphanage and that is fine. I know we haven't talked in forever, but out of the blue I've decided to contact you and see if you are still interested in adopting through us in HAITI. Let me know.

Did you hear it? Yep, there it was. The large vaccuum sucking us back into Haiti. Well played God. Well played.