Salzwedel Family Adventures

Out of the Proverbial Loop

2010-11-22T09:17:00.006-06:00

For the past month my brain has been swirling with blog posts; blog posts that didn't happen. There are blogs I adore, but haven't had time to read. School has been busy. Right now I am taking English composition. I am constantly writing: essays, paragraphs, discussion questions, responding to discussion questions, etc. I am learning a lot, but also feel like all of this darn learning is cutting into my fun. I guess responsibility trumps fun (for now).

I remember this time last year I was feeling a lot of anguish because Mercy was not home yet. Oh how I ached for her to be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it wasn't meant to be. The old saying "Hindsight is 20/20" certainly rings true when I think about that. Her coming home over the holidays would have been a complete disaster. Thankfully God knew that and had my back, as usual. I love it when He saves me from myself.

I'm looking forward to enjoying the holidays with my amazing husband and kiddos. The Christmas light are all up, Thanksgiving groceries are purchased, and I've even put a good dent in the Christmas shopping.

Life has settled into a rather predictable routine at our house and most days it all just feels very normal. As normal as it can be with four kids anyway. My days are filled with caring for my family, school work and wondering what plans God has for me next. I am longing to return to Ghana. I miss the way I can focus on what's really important when I'm not stuck in my warm, cozy bubble. I guess I'm just crazy like that.

I hope to get caught up with everyone's happenings soon. Please say hello while you are here (I miss y'all). Wishes for peace, love, and a blessed Thanksgiving to you all!

Perfect Timing

2010-10-15T10:06:00.004-05:00

My heart is heavy for many friends currently waiting for their children to come home. I remember very clearly the agony of waiting. The longing and having a hard time understanding why it was taking so long. The end is the hardest...so close, yet so far away.

Over and over again I heard how God's timing was perfect. It was something I knew without a doubt in my head, but my heart had a bit more trouble digesting that statement. People would say it with the best of intentions, but it stung. I didn't want to hear those words because they echoed with triteness in my ears.

My friends, you WILL get the call. The pain of the wait WILL end and you may very well find yourself wondering why God thought you were competent enough to handle this in the first place. You may even contemplate why it wasn't dragged out a little longer (but I know you can't believe that now).

Take heart, dear ones, as the wait and setbacks are all part of the plan. Cry. Ache. Long for your children. Pray and maybe even beg. It's all good & necessary. God is in control.

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope." - Psalm 130:5

Seven!

2010-10-14T08:24:00.003-05:00

Mercy Joy Salzwedel turns 7 today and she is certainly FULL of joy! She has hardly skipped a beat since coming home. She loves to draw, play outside & take HOT showers. She almost always has a smile on her face.

We are so blessed that you are home and we can celebrate with you this year instead of from afar. Happy birthday precious girl...you are loved!

Six Months

2010-10-07T13:39:00.003-05:00

It's been six months since Mercy came home. I'd love to say it seems like just yesterday, but I am happy to report that it feels like a lifetime ago.

I struggled a great deal after she arrived with post-adoption depression. Thankfully it didn't last long, but it was quite miserable nonetheless. No one wants to work hard & sacrifice much to get their child home and then sit around all day crying feeling like you've just made the worst mistake of your life. I am SO thankful it's not that way now. So thankful!

Mercy has adjusted amazingly well. She is confident & bright and almost always has a smile on her face.

I have been so blessed by this process - the people I've met, the way God provided for Mercy to come home, the way my perspective has been changed by the places I've gone and the things I've seen. If I sit down and really try to soak it all in it just blows me away.

I'll conclude with a passage from the devotional "Hope for the Journey An Adoption Companion" from Shaohannah's Hope:
The adoption journey is not easy, but every hour of toil, every obstacle encountered, every tear shed, every sleepless night - all are but a shadow of the price that God paid for us. Jesus came to be a ransom for many, and if God was willing to pay that ransom for us, how much more will He be willing to lead us in ransoming His beloved children from their state as orphans? And it is His love that compels us onward in obedience, whatever the cost, for He who calls us is faithful. Our God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, who is rich in mercy and grace, who generously provides for all that we need, this God knows the costs we will incur, and promises to be with us and for us every step of the way. This is about faith in action. This is an invitation to experience God in ways we've never experienced Him before.

He's Come a Long Way Baby

2010-09-30T10:28:00.005-05:00

You wouldn't know it by looking at the picture, but the first few times Mr. B spent time with black children in our home he was a bit freaked out. Gasp!

My friend Sally came to visit with her two boys who were born in Ghana and to say he was a bit standoffish would be an understatement.

The truth is that our town is just not that diverse. There is a bit of Asian culture, but predominantly you see people with Hispanic heritage. There just aren't that many African American families here (much to my dismay, but that's a whole 'nother post). So in his defense it was just something he hadn't really had the opportunity to become familiar with. It was different and he didn't know what to make of it.

Fast forward almost six months and it is so beautiful to see him not give a second thought of it. Mercy is his sister...his buddy. I really didn't know how they would get along and thought he would probably be the most disgruntled with her arrival. When she gets dropped off at school in the morning Mercy always hugs him and says, "See you later little buddy". He hugs her back and tells her he will miss her and that makes this momma's heart pretty darn happy.

How Do You Miss Someone You Don't Know?

2010-09-28T13:38:00.009-05:00

I often wondered how I would feel if and when I got the news that my father had died. It was three years ago today when I got the call. I remember reading the funeral home online guest book and feeling like it was the first glimpse I was getting of his life. People sharing kind words to which I could not relate.

I have but one memory of time with my father. I was in my early 20's and visiting family in West Virginia when we met. I was young and immature (even though I didn't think so at the time) and I was meeting my father who was really just a stranger who shared my DNA. I couldn't really take it all in. I was numb for the most part and simply trying to wrap my brain around the encounter with people I was to call father, sister, grandparent, aunt and uncle. I didn't & couldn't understand the significance of the opportunity until many years later.

Honestly, if it weren't for a Facebook status I wouldn't have even remembered it was the anniversary of his death. So today I will mourn just a bit, not for the father I didn't know, but for the possibility of a relationship that never was.

The Value of an Education

2010-09-16T00:01:00.004-05:00

As you may or may not know, there is another precious girl in Ghana that stole my heart. Her name is Rebecca and she would like very much to go to school.

We have so many options for school here in America - public, private, Christian, home school, alternative schools, etc. We are blessed that if we cannot afford private school that a public education is FREE for everyone. The only way for Rebecca to go to school is to pay for it and I'm hoping you'll join me in making this happen. Her tuition for the year is around $400.

She lives in a wonderful foster home that wants to send her to school. Can you imagine having to decide between sending your child to school or eating?

I am committed to contributing and raising the remaining funds needed for Rebecca to go to school. You could give up just one latte - $5 would make a difference! I hope you will join me and make the dream of an education happen for this precious girl.

A Great Day to be FIVE!

2010-09-15T00:14:00.004-05:00

Mr. B turned 5 today. Oh gosh, I love that kid! You know I love ALL my kids, but he is the BABY and so there is just something special about that right now.

He is moody, demanding, silly, athletic, loving and so much more. He is the tiniest little peanut of a five year old, but thinks he has the strength of a lion and that he can do anything. He has attitude, but loves his mama like no other (and for right now I will just keep lapping that up, thank you very much).

He loves trucks and heavy equipment and will correct me if I call something the wrong name. How dare you call a front end loader an excavator, mom! He loves sports of all kinds. I'll admit he likes older girls in bikinis a little too much for a five year old and I fully expect that may make him a bit of a handful when he is a teenager.

He is Mr. B. He is five. He's my buddy. Happy Birthday precious boy!

Back to School

2010-09-04T13:39:00.003-05:00

I would say our first week back to school has been a success. The kids all love their teachers and I have somehow managed to get all four of them to three different locations on time. Mr. B only has school for 3 hours, four morning a week. That has been great so I have quiet time to work on my homework. I think we are on track to have a great school year!

August, I Barely Knew Ye

2010-09-01T15:53:00.012-05:00

August was so jammed packed with "stuff" that we barely had time to think. I envisioned a lazy, relaxing month, but instead felt harried with a nonstop pace. I looked back at my calendar and there was one day that didn't have anything on it. One. stinkin'. day. I'm guessing that day actually had something too, but I probably forgot to enter it.

Delaney had play practice every weeknight for a production of Willy Wonka Jr. Before that ended tennis practice started at the high school every day for a couple of hours.

Mercy and Keaton started soccer on Sunday afternoons. They are both doing great and have really nice coaches this year.

All four kids had open houses and registrations to attend for their respective schools (along with piles of paperwork and forms).

Doctors appointments, car appointments, a wedding, a day at the lake, a day trip to Green Bay, a weekend in Madison. Yada, yada, yada....

Anywho, since I didn't think I had enough on my plate, I decided that it was high time I went to college. I never went after high school and I certainly did OK for myself, but it has always felt like something I should do. When I applied for financial aid it came back that a pell grant would pay for the whole enchilada so it was pretty much a no-brainer. I've taken my placement test and registered for classes that start tomorrow evening. I'm going to give it my best shot and see what happens.

So that was our crazy August. I'm looking at the September calendar and it looks WAY more empty. Thank God. I guess you could say our summer vacation went out with a bang!

Y'all Are About to be Jealous

2010-08-23T12:39:00.007-05:00

I interrupt this crazy, busy, blogging-free month of August for some excitement that just can't wait to be shared.

Yesterday we had the opportunity to meet up with some other adoptive families. I just can't tell you how refreshing it is to spend time with other people who have families just like ours. Each time I have met another blogger/adoptive mom the relationship goes from being "cyber" to "in-real-life" seamlessly. It is not at all like meeting strangers, but old friends.

So the amazing and wonderful Sarah hosted a fantastic meal at her home and we were lucky enough to be invited. All the kids played beautifully together while the moms and dads talked and talked and talked. Bliss!

Left to right:

Sarah - Five Frozen Chamorros

Moi!

Essie - The Accidental Mommy

Corey - Watching the Waters

Angie - Blogless & fabulous all the same

Thanks ladies for an incredible day!

Our Family...by Mercy

2010-07-26T16:17:00.004-05:00

Brown is Stinky

2010-07-20T16:16:00.006-05:00

I did my own version of an old social experiment recently. While shopping, Mercy was looking at two nearly identical dolls. The only difference was that one was brown and one was white. I asked her very nonchalantly which doll she preferred. She looked them both over and proclaimed that the white one was "so cute" and the brown one was "stinky".

Break. my. heart.

We talk routinely about how we are different on the outside, but the same on the inside. We talk about how even though she is brown and we are white that God brought our family together and made us ALL good. We've read books celebrating a diversity of colors, and yet here is my brown daughter saying that "brown is stinky".

We do talk about race in our house openly. I think it is silly to pretend that we are colorblind. We choose instead to celebrate our differences, than pretend they don't exist. I'll never forget the look on her face when I told Mercy there were a lot of white people who paid good money to get their skin more brown. Clearly, that was the craziest thing she had ever heard.

Mercy has told me that when she was a baby she was white (really?!). She's also said she wished she had a brown mom & dad, not a different mom and dad than us per se, just that she wished that WE were brown. I don't know if she just wants to "fit in" (in her mind) or if she just wants no distinction between her and the rest of our family.

It's tough. I want her to be completely & utterly proud of her beautiful brown skin.

So how do you celebrate diversity or teach your children to be proud of who they are? I'd love to get a good dialogue going on this subject. Respectful comments appreciated!

Lessons from a Waterpark

2010-07-17T11:40:00.001-05:00

1) Not everyone is meant to wear a bikini. I never think body shape/size should prohibit people from doing the things they want to do. Everyone should be able to put on a swimming suit and enjoy time at a pool with their family. Alot of people would look really nice in a one piece, but a two piece...not so much.

2) More folks should care about the modesty of their teen girls. I saw many young teenage girls with a whole lot of their "stuff" on display. It makes me a bit sad that this is the norm and readily accepted.

3) It's great (and necessary) to spend time with our older kids alone. Because they are not as "needy" as the littles it's easy to overlook them. We are so blessed to have such great big kids at our house and it's important to remind them just how great they are.

Akwaaba!

2010-07-12T21:39:00.006-05:00

We had an amazing weekend gathering together with other families who have children that were adopted from Ghana. There is something so special about being with other families who look like you do. It's like an instant connection and felt like meeting old friends instead of strangers. No awkwardness, just the common bond of being a multi-racial adoptive family.

above photo from www.robindoddphotography.com

Our gathering was held in Freeport, IL, and let me tell you this little town has a lot to offer. Friday night we enjoyed a picnic and a game of ball at Little Cubs Field. On Saturday we spent most of the day at Krape Park enjoying Ghanaian songs & games, food, playing, paddle boating & the carousel. In the afternoon we went to Park Hills Church to participate in an African Drumming Circle and in the evening we got together at a local families home to enjoy more food, fun, & fellowship.

Thank you to everyone who planned this special gathering. Many wonderful friends and memories were made!

Reunited

2010-06-30T20:41:00.003-05:00

Mercy was reunited today with two of her friends from Ghana. At first they didn't quite know what to make of seeing each other here in America. They very quickly warmed up and had a fun time playing together. Mercy was in the same children's home as the boys for some time. What a blessing to see old friends again in a new place!

A Nearly Impossible Task

2010-06-16T14:57:00.003-05:00

I have determined that it is nearly impossible to take a good group picture with four children. Someone is either sulking, looking the other direction, or making a silly face. If you have four or more children and manage to get some good shots, I officially salute you.

How She Sees Herself

2010-06-10T11:11:00.003-05:00

When Mercy started school on April 23rd they did a portfolio of what she knew. Part of that was drawing a picture of herself. I was amazed to compare the latest self-portrait to the one she did just five weeks prior. I think it is interesting that in the first picture she used only one color and that she didn't draw herself with arms or a mouth. In the second picture she is colorful and all body parts are intact. She really is doing great!

Burdened

2010-06-09T00:00:00.005-05:00

From the moment I met her last August I had a special connection with another sweet girl from Ghana. I've been blessed to spend time with quite a few orphaned children in my travels, but never have I been so burdened for a child.

I think about her all the time. I pray for a family for her. I see her potential and her sweetness. I feel her arms around me and hear her begging me not to go because she will be sad. She deserves a chance at something more.

Will you take a moment to pray for precious Rebecca today? I pray God will answer my prayers for her and bring her to a loving home.

'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'

Jeremiah 29:11

You Can Make a Difference

2010-06-03T14:38:00.004-05:00

Update: What a mighty God we serve! He provided $2600 in 24 hours for this family to get to Ghana! Need met...amazing!

Another adoptive family needs to travel to Ghana in the next couple of days to finally pick up the two new additions to their family. They are completely relying on God to provide for the remainder of their needs.

I've been in this position and I quickly found out that God is never early or late...He is right on time. Would you consider a $5 or $10 (or more) donation to bring these children home? You can play an important part in their lives where they will no longer be called "orphan", but son & daughter.

Visit and donate here today (pretty please)!

Why I Feel Weird When People Ask How We're Doing

2010-05-27T21:44:00.008-05:00

In a word...pressure. I feel a great amount of pressure when people ask how we are doing.

I would place the "askers" in three categories:

People who didn't think we should have adopted in the first place, are waiting to hear horror stories about how our family has been turned upside down, and can't wait to say, "I told you so". Tisk tisk.
People who want me to say that things are all sunshine and roses and that I must be smiling all the time and skipping joyfully about my day because my dream has come true. To say anything to the contrary of this brings about a look of shock & dismay. Oh my!
People who know us, love us, and have genuine concern for how things are going. These people are perfectly happy to hear both the good and the bad and don't judge us based on the response of that moment.

Askers one and two are HIGH pressure (at least for me). Thankfully the majority of people are in category three. It's really pretty easy to distinguish who's asking for what reason. If you are in category 3, ask anything you like and we are happy to answer. We love that you care and we love that you love us no matter what our response is.

No child, by birth or adoption, is pure joy 100% of the time. Children are complex little buggars who require a lot of work. Add to that my own baggage & issues...aye, aye, aye. Someone recently said to me that parenting kids is the best worst job ever. True that!

Somethings Brewin'

2010-05-19T20:26:00.004-05:00

I have a lot of posts brewing in my head. I think of something I want to write about and try to come up with a semi-clever title. When I sit down to write my thoughts I feel uninspired, type a few sentences, and promptly quit.

I've Started Things Like:
Why I Feel Weird When People Ask How We're Doing
I'm Not Colorblind
Please Don't Put Her on a Pedestal
God Will Tell Us When We're Done
We're Not Heroes
Life...Normal, but Not

I think it's mostly because life just feels pretty hectic right now. In addition to adjusting to our new normal, there are just SO MANY activities going on with school wrapping up. Not to mention dentist and doctor appointments up the wazoo. I don't like this fast paced, go, go, go life. I'm not cut out for it and it is showing.

I'm ready for relaxed bedtimes and meals. I'm ready for no homework or packing lunches. I'm ready for life to slow down just a bit. Bring on the summer!

Snow!

2010-05-10T09:36:00.006-05:00

Believe it or not, we had snow Friday night. Huge flakes falling from the sky in MAY! It was fun to see Mercy experience her first (of many) snowfalls. Let's hope the next one doesn't come until November or so.

A Beautiful Day for a Stroll

2010-05-03T14:00:00.000-05:00

Tender Through & Through

2010-05-02T00:10:00.003-05:00

Caring, thoughtful & loving are just some of the words I could use to describe Keaton. We are so thankful God gave us this sweet child nine years ago. He has the most sensitive heart and is so helpful. He says he wants to be a baker when he grows up so he can combine his love of cooking with art. Happy Birthday son...we love you!

To Know Her is to Love Her...

2010-04-29T04:00:00.001-05:00

Our precious girl is turning 14...I can hardly believe it is possible. I know we certainly didn't do anything to be blessed with such a wonderful daughter, but God gave her to us anyway. It is an absolute pleasure to watch her grow into such an amazing young lady. Happy Birthday Delaney! We love you so much!

Finding Normal

2010-04-27T09:36:00.007-05:00

My friend Angela and I were talking recently and I think she summed up our transition nicely. We had the difficult "pregnancy" so we get the easy baby. Mercy has fit into our family quite nicely and I thank God for that after the horrible road it took to get here.

Her homecoming was not without a hitch, however. I would never want to paint a picture of it being totally easy and that it is all sunshine & roses. Surprisingly, the biggest struggle I have had is me. Adoptive mom & author, Melissa Fay Green, wrote an article on post-adoption panic that I identified heavily with in the first week and a half. I had feelings I never expected to have. I didn't have much joy and I really couldn't eat much. I felt trapped and scared. Mercy's homecoming also brought out a whole new level of grief over the loss of Anchise. I am thankful that these feelings didn't last long and I fully believe it is because I had so many people praying for me. I have never been depressed in my life, but have a whole new level of empathy for those who struggle persistently with this. It is horrible and something I never hope to experience again. If you bring a child home and have these feelings, please reach out to those you can trust. It was utterly freeing to know I was not alone (65% of adoptive parents report feeling this way!!!) and that so many people were praying for me.

Mercy is sleeping and eating well. She is willing to try everything and has found a love of cereal. If you know our family well, you would know that my bio kids would eat cereal for just about every meal if I would let them. I find it particularly funny that she also loves it. She also loves hot showers and going to the park to play.

She has done a normal amount of testing to see what she can get away with. Let me tell you that it isn't much. We hold our kids to a pretty high behavioral expectation and she has learned quickly that no means no and don't keep asking over and over. I think using consistent phrases over the first few weeks has helped with that tremendously - "I expect you to listen" or "I expect you to not keep asking after I say no". Repetition, repetition, repetition...

I have to also say that I am so proud of Delaney, Keaton and Brezlan. They have welcomed Mercy with open arms and treat her like a true sibling...they love her one minute and find her utterly annoying the next. I would say she is closer to Keaton and Delaney at this point. Since they are both small, Brezlan finds her to be more competition than he cares for.

Believe it not, Mercy has started school. I knew since before she came home that school was very important to her. She consistently asked about school so we had her evaluated. She started kindergarten last Friday and absolutely loves it. Her teacher reports she is very well behaved and is doing great. She has a smile on her face when I pick her up and can't wait to tell me about her day. I never imagined she would start so soon, but it is obvious she was ready.

So we are finding our new normal here and starting to gel as a family of six. With God's help we will continue to grow and bond together until this time of transition is just a distant memory.

Home

2010-04-08T13:04:00.004-05:00

We are home...at last. I can't even put into words all that the trip was, but I know it was completely emotionally & physically exhausting. I'll post more details when I am feeling coherent. All in all things are going well. Mercy slept well last night and the siblings are getting along. Our biggest issue at this point is food. She pretty much doesn't like anything except rice and chicken or eggs. I am trusting this will all work itself out, but I'd love to hear how people have transitioned their kids as far as food is concerned.

Having her home just feels...well, strange. Kind of like you are having a playdate with someone that isn't going to leave. I know in time we will all find our groove and I am looking forward to that day even though it may be many months (or years) down the road. Thank you all for your prayers and continued love and support. I promise to share more soon.

Together at Last

2010-04-03T17:53:00.001-05:00

Mercy and I are at the hotel. She has enjoyed a bubble bath and is lying next to me. Happy happy joy joy.

Greetings from Amsterdam!

2010-04-03T04:15:00.002-05:00

It was a good flight to Amsterdam! Not very crowded and no one sitting next to me. I could actually scrunch myself into laying down flat on the seat, but still sleep did not come easily. My bloodshot eyes make me look a little drunk.

I am going to get some breakfast and maybe try to rest a bit before my next flight. Just a few hours until I see Mercy. I cannot wait!

I am still overwhelmed at how this suddenly unfolded and the way God made a way for me to get here so quickly. I am in awe! Thank you to everyone who has continued to pray. Your love, support and encouragement has been amazing.

24 Hours

2010-03-31T18:25:00.005-05:00

In the last 24 hours I have:

shopped for supplies

packed

taken my son to the doctor

taken my son for a haircut

went to the chiropractor

and booked my airline tickets...

with the 100% God provided money for our airfare!!!!!! The entire amount has been received and I stand in humbled awe of God's goodness. I am partly in awe because I absolutely don't deserve any of His grace that has been lavished upon me.

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us on this journey (please don't stop now). I will leave Friday afternoon and arrive Saturday in Ghana. Our together forever begins April 3rd and I am looking forward to the joys and the challenges that come along with it.

In adoption the fearful become beloved, the scorned become adored, the nameless become cherished, the lonely become the laughing, and death becomes life abundant. In adoption, we can clearly see God taking ashes from here and ashes from there and making something truly beautiful with them.

Kerry Hasenbalg, Hope for the Journey (An Adoption Companion)

We Interrupt this Previously Scheduled Rant....

2010-03-30T11:39:00.006-05:00

...to bring you a VISA!!!!!!

V-I-S-A!!!!!!!!!!!!

The news made me fall into a big ugly crying heap on the floor. Suddenly every rotten moment, every prayer cried out, every fear, every hurt and disappointment didn't matter because I heard those sweet words..."Go get your baby".

The next few days will be an absolute whirlwind. I am going to try leaving on Friday provided we can miraculously pull the money together for the tickets. The number is a bit overwhelming, but I have to believe that after all this it will come together.

I am delighted to say, finally,

Mercy is coming

HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope Wasn't on the Agenda Today

2010-03-29T15:27:00.008-05:00

I got some unexpected news this morning that there was still a chance we would get our visa today. I had pretty much given up hope this weekend that the escort situation would happen and was a bit relieved to not have any expectations for the day. So when hope showed up knocking at my door I was a bit surprised. Sadly, after a few agonizing hours we learned there was no visa and hope departed as quickly as she came.

I am just really struggling right now trying to understand any of this. I'm disappointed and angry. The escorting opportunity seemed like such a great answer to the financial end of this.

I am tired of every single step being hard. I am tired of not wanting to leave the house for having to tell people we are still waiting. I'm tired of agonizing over every dollar we spend and feeling guilty if we do something fun with the kids instead of saving the money to go to Ghana. I am tired of hoping, wishing, and praying for this to happen. I am tired of feeling weak or pitied. I am tired of feeling like a failure in my faith for the things that run through my head - doubts, fears, anger.

I'd love to tell you I have great peace and that I am just sitting around grinning from ear to ear waiting patiently on the Lord, but that wouldn't be true or real. I wanted so badly for this journey to inspire others to open their hearts to adoption, but I doubt this road trip would inspire anyone.

And please, oh please, don't tell me God's timing is perfect. I know it in my heart, but right now I'm trying to reconcile it in my head.

I Just Want to Hear Something...Anything...

2010-03-25T16:25:00.005-05:00

It has been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG week. I feel emotionally and physically exhausted and just want this over with.

Apparently there is a new step in the process and the Embassy wants to get a letter of approval from social welfare before the visa can be issued. This is being required for all families now. It is frustrating to have to wait for one more piece of paper after jumping through all of the other hoops. We passed court in August for crying out loud!

It's especially frustrating for us because of the timing. We expected to have the appointment Monday and that the visa would be issued Friday. All of this would have worked out perfectly because we have someone traveling back to America next Tuesday that was willing to escort Mercy home.

It is a much needed financial savings for us having it done this way (less than half the cost of my airline ticket & no traveling expenses) and would be a HUGE answer to prayer. Not to mention not having to go through the physical wear and tear of such a long trip. I do have a ticket on hold for Mercy through tomorrow and I am praying by some miracle I will get to book it. Also, next week is spring break so it would have been the perfect opportunity for the kids to spend time together.

There is still a chance we will get it tomorrow and I am holding onto that hope. I know it's a long shot, but I just keep telling myself that God is able.

The Great Debaucle Continues

2010-03-22T19:32:00.003-05:00

Today Edward went to the U.S. Embassy in Accra to attend Mercy's visa appointment. Instead of getting the long awaited good news, we received word that Homeland Security had not sent over our original paperwork (which should have been done months ago). In fact, from what I'm told the Embassy should not have even given us an appointment because of the missing paperwork. I'm not even sad about all of this...I am MAD!

I've done everything I could this afternoon to bring this matter to a quick resolve. I've e-mailed the Embassy asking for clarification on what is needed (so I am getting the real story first hand). I've e-mailed USCIS in Accra. I've e-mailed USCIS in St. Paul. I've talked to our senator's office who has contacted USCIS headquarters in Washington DC.

There is an opportunity that has arisen that makes the quick resolution of this problem very important. It would be a huge financial burden lifted. I can't share details yet, but please pray this is fixed now. We really need to get that visa THIS week and there is still hope that it will happen.

Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.

Put on the full armor of God so that you

can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

Ephesians 6:10-11

The Last Hurdle

2010-03-19T11:23:00.005-05:00

My daughter will arrive at the Embassy in Ghana at 7:30 a.m. on Monday for her visa appointment!!! I am finally feeling super excited & joyful. Heck, I'm practically giddy.

This is our prayer:
That all of her paperwork will be in order and that her visa will be approved.

That her visa will be printed in a timely manner.

That they won't run out of ink or paper, the printer won't jam, the electricity won't go out, or that the person who prints the visas won't become violently ill and call in sick on the day Mercy's is to be printed.

I hope to be posting about firm travel plans very soon!

Where Do We Go From Here?

2010-03-17T18:40:00.006-05:00

Just hanging out waiting to hear back from the Embassy. I've requested an appointment for next Monday so we'll see if they can squeek us in. I won't be able to make any firm plans until we know what's happening with this appointment.

I've also decided I absolutely won't make any travel plans until the visa is printed and has been picked up by Edward. I am not taking any chances since I can't stay in Ghana for an indefinite amount of time.

Best case scenario is that she would have her appointment on the 22nd and it would be printed and picked up by the 26th. I would probably then try to depart on the 31st and return on the 4th or 5th...alot depends on ticket prices and what they would cost on such short notice. If they are too high I may have to wait a week (which I'm guessing would be the longest of my life). If we don't get the visa appointment by next week and we end up running into the following week there may be a whole different plan.

I have to admit when I actually laid my eyes on the scan of her passport it was the most glorious moment! I wanted to print it out and frame it. I'm certain it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I wonder what it will be like to see her again? How much has she grown? Will she be as excited as I am? Will it be difficult for her to say goodbye? I can't wait to wrap my arms around her and tell her how much I have missed her and that she will be loved forever.

How Do You Spell Relief?

2010-03-15T14:40:00.003-05:00

P-A-S-S-P-O-R-T

Thank you Jesus! I've already e-mailed the Embassy requesting an appointment for next Monday.

A Capricious Situation

2010-03-10T21:26:00.006-06:00

Capricious: [kuh-prish-us] - adjective - characterized by, or subject to whim; impulsive and unpredictable

Isn't that just the perfect word to describe our situation! Well, by golly, today we are getting a totally new and improved story about the passport. This particular story doesn't involve the police (or corporate espionage...ha ha). Supposedly her passport was accidentally mixed in with a stack of passports going to another region and when they discovered they had it they were concerned that someone had been waiting for it.

Yeah...that would be me.

Anywho, supposedly someone will be bringing it back to Accra next week. It is about three hours away from where it needs to be so let's just hope it doesn't end up on Gilligan's Island after making it's "three hour tour".

To be continued...

How Can I Resist...

2010-03-08T15:33:00.001-06:00

...this face?

A Flair for the Dramatic

2010-03-07T23:13:00.007-06:00

I am SO not attracted to drama. And yet, as I find myself soul searching this journey, it truly sounds like a bad soap opera that goes something like this:

Girl wants to adopt.

Girl plans to adopt baby girl from Haiti.

Girl travels to Haiti on an amazing adventure to meet her daughter.

Baby girl removed from orphanage and returned to birth family.

Girl heartbroken.

Girl picks up the pieces and moves forward to adopt baby girl 2 from Ghana.

Girl thrilled with ease and speed of Ghana program.

Girl in turmoil when baby girl 2's orphanage closes and baby girl 2 is returned to birth family.

Still proceeding with adoption, girl finally gets a court date for baby girl 2 only to be told she has one week to get to fly to Africa to appear on a whim for court.

Girl travels to Africa on an amazing adventure, falling more in love with baby girl 2.

Girl told to expect baby girl 2 to be ready to come home in about six weeks.

Six months later girl is still waiting for baby girl 2's passport only to be told the person at the passport office was arrested because he gave baby girl 2's passport to someone else.

Two and a half years later and girl is still waiting...the phrase "next week" becomes meaningless.

Girl wonders if she just seriously got it all wrong.

My motto for the week: "NO MORE DRAMA". I am so ready for a happy ending.

Spec-tacular!

2010-03-04T18:47:00.003-06:00

Keaton got his first pair of glasses today after failing his eye exam quite miserably last week. He asked me what he should do if someone told him he looked like a nerd. I told him to look at the kid and say, "if you want to see a nerd just look in the mirror". Just kidding. Or am I?

I must say I think he looks rather snazzy in his new spectacles. Don't you?

Now You See It...Now You Don't

2010-03-02T19:42:00.005-06:00

I was feeling particularly defeated today after learning the passport that Edward laid eyes on last week has mysteriously disappeared. Gone.

Quite honestly, if I hadn't met Mercy in person or didn't know other families that have brought their children home through our agency I would most certainly think we were being scammed.

I spent a lot of time this afternoon re-reading a devotional I received from Shaohannah's Hope. My heart is ministered to each and every time I read the words included in this small booklet. It confirms and re-confirms my desire to press on, even when I feel too tired to do so. It's not about me or what I have to go through, it's about offering hope and family to a precious girl who needs it.

The adoption journey is not easy, but every hour of toil, every obstacle encountered, every tear shed, every sleepless night - all are but a shadow of the price that God paid for us. Jesus came to be a ransom for many, and if God was willing to pay that ransom for us, how much more will He be willing to lead us in ransoming His beloved children from their state as orphans? And it is His love that compels us onward in obedience, whatever the cost, for He who calls us is faithful.

A Part of My Story

2010-02-28T23:56:00.009-06:00

Our pastor recently challenged us to think about "our story" and the impact it can have on others who don't have a relationship with Christ.

At our small group last week we continued the study of "Just Walk Across the Room". One of our exercises was to think about our story in relation to who we were before & who we are after submitting to a life with Christ. Honestly, I had a hard time with this concept. I accepted Christ at a young age. My relationship with Him has been close at times and farther apart at others.

I finally had my "a-ha" moment the other night and decided my before and after could be summed up quite succinctly as self-reliant (before) and God-reliant (after). You see, I don't like NEEDING people.

There I said it.

I do not like depending on anyone at all. I like to think that I can do it...all by myself...without any help. People can be rather disappointing and I've felt for a very long time that I always want to WANT people around, but never NEED them.

When a friend asked me recently about what meals we would like delivered after Mercy comes home my first thought was "why in the world would I NEED people to make meals for me...I can do that for myself".

Seriously now, what kind of deranged thinking is that?

I think one of the greatest things I continue to learn through the adoption process is that I can't do this alone. I can't come up with the money. I can't find the strength. I don't have the knowledge. In this process I am utterly and completely God-reliant. I've also learned that sometimes being God-reliant actually means being people-reliant ~ which is still hard for me.

So there you have it...a teeny part of my story. I am a work in progress. Putting one foot forward every single day, relying more on God and less on myself.

Now let's just see if I have the courage to click "publish"...

A Hopeful Beginning...A Disappointing End

2010-02-26T21:28:00.003-06:00

No signature.

No passport.

No visa appointment Monday.

God is in control.

Masks for Mercy

2010-02-24T21:30:00.004-06:00

A friend who is a consultant for BeautiControl set up an amazing fundraiser for us today. It is cleverly titled "Masks for Mercy".

BeautiControl is a beauty company that specializes in spa treatments, personalized skin care and advanced anti-aging products. They have a huge line of products ranging from skin care to make up.

We are so grateful that Jen offered to do this fundraiser and a generous portion of sales will go to help bring Mercy home. If you or someone you know uses beauty products I am sure you can find something you like. Orders can be shipped anywhere. Please help spread the word!

Masks for Mercy Facebook Page Here!

Jen's BeautiControl Site Here!

Note: any purchase qualifies, not just masks!

This is My Prayer

2010-02-23T11:49:00.005-06:00

I took a chance and sent our e-mail to the Embassy in Accra requesting a visa appointment. I was pleasantly surprised when I received an e-mail back with a confirmed appointment for NEXT MONDAY at 7:30 a.m. (1:30 a.m. our time). I am actually starting to get excited thinking this really is going to happen!

Here is my prayer:

There is another family who's daughter should be ready to travel home around the same time. Her husband, however, is deployed overseas and she is at home caring for multiple little ones. She cannot travel, but I can. It would be a HUGE blessing for us both for me to be able to escort her daughter home. They would cover half of my airfare and pay for our hotel/meals during the trip. I cannot stress enough how much of a HUGE blessing this would be since we are about $1,000 short for our travel expenses. I have been praying for God to provide and this just might be a great answer to prayer!

Soon baby girl...soon.

A Breakthrough...At Last!

2010-02-22T20:59:00.005-06:00

I was so excited last week. Wednesday we were told the passport would be ready Thursday or Friday so I was all set and holding off to do a post announcing the exciting news. Friday, however, came and went with no news and disappointment.

This morning I received an e-mail that Edward has indeed SEEN the hard copy of our printed passport. The only thing missing is the director's signature which he believes he will obtain tomorrow. I was given the green light to request a visa appointment from the U.S. Embassy in Accra.

It is weird to think we are moving forward. I'm pinching myself and wondering if it's true. If, by chance, (and this is best case scenario) we get the passport in the morning and have the visa appointment on Monday we could have her visa by the 5th. Then it would be time to bring her home.

I am almost scared to be excited. This afternoon I didn't know what to feel. I almost felt nothing at all because "progress" or potential progress is so foreign feeling. The reality that I could need to be able to make travel plans in two weeks is setting in. We are praying for a smooth visa process and for provision for the trip.

Lord, let it be and may you get ALL the glory!

A Great Distraction

2010-02-15T13:53:00.005-06:00

There's nothing like some good conversation and a couple of cute little Ghanaian imports to brighten a waiting momma's day. I was blessed to be able to spend some time with another Ghanaian adoptive family this morning for a few hours. We met at the H*liday Inn for some swimming and then to McD*nald's for lunch. I would call that a perfect distraction!

Picture This!

2010-02-10T16:16:00.002-06:00

Oh, I can't wait to be spreading sunshine & joy instead of the dismal news I always seem to be sharing lately. It seems the passport office is displeased with Mercy's passport photos and has requested new ones.

I've been told that Edward took her yesterday to get new pictures and delivered them to the passport office. They didn't tell him when it would be ready, just to come back every day and see if by chance they've gotten around to it.

It is no wonder I have been suffering from excruciating headaches lately! I am praying this is the last hold up and that her passport will be printed yet this week.

Daddy Date Night 2010

2010-02-06T21:46:00.005-06:00

Tonight Delaney and Jeff went to Daddy Date Night at a local church. They have been going since she was just a little girl (around 4 years old, I think). Where did my little girl go???

I had a major score on her dress, paying only $14 on clearance instead of the original $70 price tag!

Love this girl! She is beautiful on the inside and out and keeps us laughing.

Ready & Waiting

2010-02-04T20:30:00.001-06:00

On a more upbeat note, I realized I didn't share that the girls bunkbed came in and is ready and waiting.

The top bunk is occupied by Delaney and Mercy will be on the bottom once she is comfortable with that. If she wants to sleep with us or on a cot next to our bed when she first gets home that is OK too. We will let her take the lead on this one.

Overall I am quite pleased with the bunks. I think for the money we paid they are good quality and they arrived quickly. I put them together by myself and let's just say the directions were not really top notch. None of the pieces were lettered and there were no written words on the directions. I am so thankful to have the bookshelves for storage. The cloths bins work perfectly for things like socks and underwear or other items.

It will be a happy day when I have another one to tuck in at night!

The Haiti/Ghana Connection: A Tale As Clear As Mud

2010-02-03T22:48:00.006-06:00

I've really enjoyed having new commenters lately! Apparently my obvious desperation has prompted to you write and I cannot tell you how much your encouragement means. Of course, I am always thankful to my long-time faithful commenters. You all rock.

It made me realize that our story is probably clear as mud. I am fully steeped in all things Haiti and have lots of Haiti peeps which probably (at least in my mind) leads to confusion. I thought I'd give a quick recap of our journey just to clear things up for those of you who are new to our story. Grab your favorite beverage and settle in, cause here we go:

We said yes to adoption at the end of summer 2007. After experiencing several years of infertility and being told we would never have children we managed, quite to the surprise of my OB/GYN, to get pregnant. We had originally thought adoption would be our only option, and although we went on to have three successful pregnancies, adoption was never far from our minds.

We started out with absolutely no money in the bank, but believed with all of our hearts that this is the path we were meant for. We explored adopting from Ukraine & Guatemala, but eventually settled on Haiti after a somewhat strange encounter. We felt 100% sure that Haiti was where our daughter was. We started our homestudy and quite miraculously whenever a fee was due the money would come in.

Our original application was to adopt from Children of the Promise through Celebrate Children International. We had seen a little girl on the Three Angels website for a few months and just couldn't get her face out of our minds. We tried to ignore it since we were planning to adopt from COTP, but eventually caved. We made some calls, filled out some applications, and were overjoyed to be matched with Anchise. Finally, we had a daughter.

I traveled to Haiti in September 2008 to meet Anchise and file paperwork for the adoption. It was a trip that changed my life forever. I met new and dear friends who became instant family and fell in love with a country filled with beauty & pain. I felt "home" there and to this day it is where my heart is.

In November 2008 we received word that Anchise's mom did not wish for her to be adopted. We were devastated. It truly felt (and still feels) like the death of one of my children.

We waited a few months to see what would happen with Anchise, with the orphanage (they had no other available girls at the time), and with Haiti in general. The Haitian government wasn't looking favorably upon families with biological children and it seemed no matter where we turned the doors were closing. That was a really hard pill to swallow since we fully believed Haiti was where we were meant to be.

We learned about Ghana adoptions from another adoptive mom and ended up changing to that program in February 2009. We were matched with Mercy and officially began the process to adopt her. We were originally told it would take about six months to bring her home which was music to our ears after all we had lost in Haiti. I should have known it was too good to be true. After much turmoil within the orphanage and continually delayed court dates we finally passed court at the end of August 2009. I made an unexpected trip after the judge (on a whim) decided to require me to appear for court. We were then told it would be about six weeks before she came home.

Well, here we are almost six months later. All of our paperwork is sitting at the Embassy in Ghana waiting for her visa appointment which we cannot have without her passport.

I have been feeling like I have nothing left to give to this process. It has been mentally, physically & financially draining. It is difficult. It is beautiful. I have learned so much about myself and what my God is capable of. We continue to walk in obedience, not because it is glamorous or fun, but because we feel it is what we are meant to do.

A Weird Place To Be

2010-01-31T19:51:00.004-06:00

It's really strange and difficult to blog these days. The vast majority of adoptive families I've become acquainted with have brought their children home from Haiti in the past week. While I have rejoiced and cried happy tears for them, I'll admit it leaves me feeling a bit left behind.

The e-mail from our facilitator earlier in the week said he was "sure we would have it (the passport) by Friday". Friday came and went without a word either way. Sadly, it's what I've become accustomed to. I don't feel sad. I don't feel mad. I just really don't feel anything.

Another week gone...c'est la vie.

Another Monday looming.

Another week of possibility.

Praying I don't make it to another Friday without any news or progress.

Won't You Come Out and Play?

2010-01-26T22:16:00.006-06:00

Sometimes I wonder how often I can tell you we have no passport before you just want to run away and hide. Like seriously...she's talking about the passport AGAIN! Blech!

I'm hoping you can help me pass the time by delurking on ye olde blog. If you are a regular reader, an occasional reader or you've just stumbled upon our adventure by some unfortunate mishap, PLEASE give me a shout out in the comments section.

Seriously people...I'm getting desperate here! Pretty, pretty please? I promise it won't hurt a bit.

Meet Edward

2010-01-23T00:22:00.003-06:00

I'd like to take a moment and introduce you to Edward. He is our facilitator in Ghana. He's the guy that picks me up at the airport (did you know his car runs on prayer?), carts me around to all my appointments while in Ghana, taught me how to exchange dollars for cedis, showed me how vodaphone worked, and gave me kudos for not making him spend hours at the market. He taught me how to negotiate with the vendors and got a few good laughs when I was willing to walk away from a purchase and got chased down in the parking lot! He's also good meal time company with his stories of Ghana.

Edward is the dude on the ground who makes it all happen for us in regards to Mercy's paperwork. Could you please take a moment to pray for him? He is a really good man and I am praying that he would find favor wherever he goes this next week...say to places like the passport office & the embassy.

You see, on Wednesday I received a most delightful e-mail from the U.S. Embassy in Accra stating they had received all of our paperwork and that our in country representative could pick up the visa appointment package to proceed with our case. Well, that is a LOVELY thought, but it can't happen without that passport.

Passport + Visa Appointment = Home

Perseverance

2010-01-20T09:49:00.004-06:00

I've never ran a marathon...and most likely I never will. I do feel like I've been running a different sort of marathon, however, for over two years. For the past few months I feel like I can see the finish line in the distance, but just can't seem to get there. In the last few weeks I feel like I can see the finish line, but truly don't have the stamina to even TRY to cross that line. That, my friends, is a miserable feeling.

These feelings of hopelessness and fear have been compounded dramatically by the events in Haiti. Wondering about Anchise...seeing all of the children from her previous orphanage come home and feeling like that should have been my moment too. Let's just say it's been joyful and brutally painful all at the same time. I've been struggling with many emotions and I have had more than a few desperate heart to heart talks with God.

I am so thankful that time and time again He chooses to meet me exactly where I am at. Lovingly bringing me back to a place where I can see His goodness.

I have been struggling with unhealthy fear of what "might" happen. After losing Anchise I still have this underlying anxiousness that in the end Mercy will not come home and we will lose yet another daughter. For the last few weeks unhealthy fear has robbed me of hope and joy; the enemy has discouraged me.

As my morning devotion and verses on perseverance encouraged me, I felt the strength to finish rise up in me again. It is worth it. I am thankful for the changes made in my life through this process. Mercy WILL come home. Thank you Lord for being with me even when I am struggling and helping me continue to grow.

Unchangable and unshakable God, through the friends you have sent in my life and by the power of your gift, the Holy Spirit, help me to stand up under trial and prove my character true with perseverance when under fire. Give my faith courage and endurance so that my life shows forth your enduring strength. Through Him who remained faithful unto death, I pray. Amen.

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

James 1:2-4

Up in the Air

2010-01-18T21:08:00.003-06:00

Mercy's elusive passport has still not been obtained. I was told today that they reapplied (for the third time) and that we could expect it in two weeks. Keep in mind that when I hear "two weeks" what I am really thinking is that it will be "two months"...or maybe "two years". We are now running into the day that the new and improved biometric passport system will start.

We passed court five months ago. It's starting to feel like an eternity.

Broken

2010-01-15T14:29:00.005-06:00

I don't even know what to blog. I feel torn and broken by the events of the week.

My heart aches for the people of Haiti. For the friends I made while I was there. For the beautiful people whose lives have been ripped apart by this tragedy. Praying and desperately hopeful for the families in process that God will make a way for their children to come home now. Yet my little Haitian girl...I have no news of her. I do not know she is safe. I am not in the process to bring her home and I may never know if she and her mother survived. I am feeling raw and praying that somehow we will get word of her - good or bad. I am outsider to the events that are happening there and yet they effect me deeply and personally.

On the other side of the world I have a beautiful girl waiting for a passport so she can board a plane and come home.

I don't know what to feel and yet I must find a way to get through the days for my family here and keep looking to the God who sustains me.

The Lord is my strength and my song;

He has become my salvation.

He is my God and I will praise him,

my father's God, and I will exalt him.

Exodus 15:2

Please pray for Anchise. Please pray for Haiti. Please pray for Mercy's passport. Pray.

If you feel led to make a donation to help with the crisis in Haiti here are some amazing organizations that would benefit greatly from your support:

Real Hope for Haiti

Heartline Ministries

Three Angels Children's Relief

World Wide Village

Kicking Me When I'm Down

2010-01-11T14:39:00.008-06:00

Last week was B-A-D! It was a horrible, awful, no good, very bad week. I was overwhelmed by feelings of sadness that we are still riding this rollercoaster. Another week with no passport and seemingly no one in any hurry to get that task completed.

In typical fashion to top off my feelings of helplessness and disdain ~ our furnace went out! When I realized it wasn't working (around 11 pm when everyone else was in bed), I fell down on the floor in a big lump and cried the ugly cry. But it wasn't really about the furnace at all (although I shuddered at the additional expense when I am trying desperately to SAVE for the trip). It just all hit me like a ton of bricks that she is not home yet. Other families that started in Ghana when we did have had their children home for a few months now and frankly that is a bitter pill to swallow.

I know there are many people praying for us and for Mercy's homecoming and I know that and God's grace is how I get through the days and weeks of the endless, mind-numbing wait. The weekend was better and today I am feeling OK. With God's help we will make it through this and I hope be better for it on the other side. Please keep praying for that passport so our beautiful girl can come home to a family that loves her so much!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-06T13:32:00.002-06:00

The State of the Union ~ January 1, 2010

2010-01-01T20:25:00.005-06:00

The good news is at all of our paperwork is at the Embassy in Ghana! The bad news is that we have no passport (STILL!!!!). And without a passport all of that precious approved paperwork does us no good at all. If we had a passport we could potentially have a visa appointment in the next week and then Mercy could come home.

Honestly, I've been angry that we don't have it yet. It's something we should have had MONTHS ago. And now we could potentially run into a problem because Ghana is now in the process of changing to biometric passports. I am frustrated. I am weary with this process (as many of you are).

We went to bed last night around 12:30 am, but I was wide awake at 5:30 this morning thinking about Mercy, the passport, finances, the "what-ifs". My thoughts were was racing. I generally don't let my mind get the better of me on stuff like this, but I find myself waking often at night thinking of Mercy.

We started the process of adoption in the early fall of 2007, which makes me about 27 months paper pregnant. The elephants gestation period is 22 months - the longest of any land animal. At this point I feel like it would have been EASIER and less painful to give birth to an elephant!

Please pray that we are miraculously able to get Mercy's passport this coming week. Please Lord, make a way for our precious girl to come home!

We Miss You Too Baby Girl

2009-12-28T16:49:00.001-06:00

Dec Ghana from Charmaine Balmer on Vimeo.

Filled with Anticipation

2009-12-17T15:29:00.002-06:00

If you happen to run in to me you will probably find me smiling. I am filled to the brim with anticipation. Nesting has been kicked into high gear and the realization that we should be just a few weeks away from Mercy's homecoming makes me down right giddy.

I laid in bed last night wide awake until after 1 a.m. running through the scenarios in my mind...playing the "guess the date of Mercy's homecoming" game in my head...thinking of all the things I want to do before she comes home. You know, like paint the walls in the stairwell to the downstairs playroom. Yeah, important stuff that she will really care about (insert sarcasm here). I'm just crazy happy or maybe just crazy. Who knows! Who cares!

Winter clothes for our sweetie are definitely in order. I've done some clearance shopping the last few weeks so she won't freeze. I also bought a heated blanket for the girls bunk bed, which I am planning to order tomorrow. I can't wait to get it all set up and ready to go. Their room is small so the bookcase headboard will be essential for extra storage. I dream of the night I get to tuck her in for the first time, pray with her, and check on her 20 times.

I got the official paper copy of our approval in the mail yesterday and it said our papers were forwarded to the National Visa Center on the 11th. Our adoption agency said we should e-mail the embassy to request a visa appointment on the 28th provided we have that passport.

I keep praying and believing that we are just a few weeks away from Mercy coming home. Excitement abounds. We are praising God for all he has done and continues to do!

So Close I Can Taste It

2009-12-15T17:02:00.002-06:00

I received the following e-mail today regarding our I-600 approval:
Case approved! The notice is in the mail to you and on its way to the National Visa Center. It can take about 5 days for the approval notice to get to the NVC and then 24-48 hours for it to be uploaded into the system. They will then schedule an interview in Accra. Please let me know if you do not hear from the NVC in this time frame.

"Approved" is just about the nicest word I could hear. We are soooooooooooo close.

I was told we have the death letter for Mercy's father (although I haven't seen a copy), but she still doesn't have her passport. They actually ran out of passport books to print them on, which seems so "Haiti" to me.

Airline tickets are crazy high right now because of the holidays. I hate the thought of getting the OK and then not having the money to buy the tickets, but as a friend reminded me, God has already gone ahead of me and made the way for it to happen. I don't know how, but He does, and that is what I am counting on.

Keep praying! Lord willing, I believe it won't be long now!

A Chance to Serve

2009-12-10T22:35:00.002-06:00

On Wednesday our life group served a meal at the St. Vincent de Paul Outreach and Food Pantry. We made the decision that both Delaney and Keaton were old enough to help and brought them along too.

On the way there we talked about what kind of people we might encounter and that no matter what their outward appearance might be that they should be treated with love and respect. Smile, be friendly and most of all serve them as if you were waiting on a very special guest.

From my perspective, we live in a community where the disadvantaged are mostly invisible. A small town in the midwest with lovely parks, nice places to eat, and good schools. You generally don't see people who resemble the homeless and I don't think I've ever seen anyone hanging out in the streets begging. You can generally go about your business and not be made to feel "uncomfortable" by the less fortunate. I think that might be a bad thing.

You see there are people who society deems the have nots or disadvantaged living in every community. To pretend they don't exist in the places we live is wrong. When I looked at the room filled with hungry people who had waited outside in the freezing weather, I did not see statistics. I saw worn and weathered faces of sisters, brothers, grandparents, sons, daughters, fathers and mothers. Each of them children of God. Each with a story uniquely theirs.

The reality is that any one of us is one job loss, one medical diagnosis, one bad decision or one tragedy away from being THAT person.

I don't know that a bowl of soup and a friendly smile made a difference to anyone going through our line, but I do know that I was blessed by serving. My children were blessed by serving. We will do it again and I hope you will think about doing it to.

There will always be poor people in the land.

Therefore I command you to be openhanded

toward your brothers and toward the

poor and needy in your land.

Deuteronomy 15:11

The Wait...It Isn't Getting Any Easier

2009-12-04T13:31:00.003-06:00

Yep, still waiting. Only it's starting to feel different. A little more painful. A little more longing in my heart for this girl (if that's possible).

In ways it is similar to the month or so before you deliver a newborn baby. You start to get a little more uncomfortable. You don't sleep as well. You dream about what it will be like to walk through the door for the first time with your child.

Earlier in the week we received our I-797C (notice of action) for our I-600. Basically it's a letter they send to pacify you and let you know they received your application and it is in process. I've also been in touch with our senators office to see if they can assist us with an expedited approval because of her living situation.

I also found out that the new process for filing the I-600 through the central location in Texas has an interesting twist. After you send them to Texas (instead of your local office), they forward them back to your local office. Hmmm...

So where are we at?

Praying for I-600 approval.
Praying for Mercy's passport (they ran out of booklets to print them on).
Praying for her father's death letter we will need for her visa.
Praying for continued provision.
Praying for Mercy's heart.
Praying that we will have peace as we wait on God's perfect timing.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;

yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

What's In a Name?

2009-11-29T23:19:00.003-06:00

We've had a lot of discussion around the house recently about what Mercy's middle name will be. Before I had traveled to Ghana we discussed the idea of having her birthmother's name as her middle name as a way to honor her. However, when I discussed this idea with Mercy she reacted negatively. I think for now it might just be too painful for her.

We'd like to have a name that meant something special. Honestly, I know it's hard to pair anything with Salzwedel and have roll off the tongue. I'm hoping you can help me out with some good suggestions!

God IS in the Miracle Business

2009-11-25T22:34:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I decided to check ticket prices for flights to Ghana and was most unpleasantly surprised to find out tickets were now $1,000 more than just a couple of weeks ago. And I did it again - put God in a box. Like God doesn't own the cattle on a thousand hills. Like He couldn't provide however much extra we would need. Like whether we need $1,500 or $3,500...He knows.

As we were leaving the house around 6:00 I remembered I hadn't gotten the mail today. You know, never really look forward to it. Usually just bills and junk mail, but today there was something different. A hand addressed envelope with no return address. And inside that envelope was another envelope with "Mercy" written on it. And inside that envelope was

$100

Just like that...boom...$1,300. Just yesterday the mountain seemed huge and today not so much. That, my friends, is God. And when I doubt or have fear I need to remember this moment and all of the other moments where God has shown His loving faithfulness. He will complete this good work He began.

Thank you Lord and thank you anonymous. We are blown away by God's goodness and your generosity.

"God owns the cattle on a thousand hills,

the wealth in every mine;

He owns the rivers and the rocks and rills,

the sun and stars that shine.

Wonderful riches, more than tongue can tell -

He is my Father so their mine as well;

God owns the cattle on a thousand hills -

I know that He will care for me."

Fingerprinting: A Day to Remember

2009-11-23T22:48:00.003-06:00

Today was a GREAT day! We traveled to Milwaukee to be re-fingerprinted. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to the long drive and of course I was disappointed that we even had to go through this again. When I realized this would have to be done it was really just another reminder that Mercy wasn't home. I am really eating my words now because it was a very memorable day.

We left on time (a miracle for us!) and had a leisurely drive to Milwaukee. We stopped for breakfast and it was nice to be able to just talk without being interrupted. We reached our destination at USCIS about 15 minutes early and even got a parking spot close by. After digging around for some change for the meter I got out and promptly stepped in a large pile of doggie poo. Seriously. Even this could not deter our joyful mood. Actually we got quite a few chuckles out of it. Sick eh?

We got right in and were blessed with a friendly employee who chatted us up and shared a few laughs. She asked about who we were adopting and was excited that we were bringing an "older" child into our family. She was fun and we were in and out in 30 minutes flat.

We took the opportunity to explore Milwaukee a bit and drove down by Lake Michigan to walk around the Milwaukee Art Museum. Unfortunately the museum was closed, but there was still plenty to explore for free outside. I was particularly enjoying the beautiful architecture in the area. It was fun and leisurely which was a welcome distraction to the wait.

We made a pitstop in Oshkosh on the way back home and had a late lunch at Red Robin with our great niece. It was a long day and we are tired, but who knew a date for fingerprinting could be so much fun! We were blessed with an amazing day.

Praying for Mercy

2009-11-19T23:59:00.005-06:00

Today our I-600 paperwork arrived in Texas! It feels SO GOOD to have this out of my hands. I was so excited to have mailed this yesterday so when I came home from my morning ladies group and saw I had new pictures in my inbox I was doubly thrilled.

Until I opened them.

I noticed with the previous set of pics (and other people commented as well), that Mercy just seemed off. She wasn't her usual perky, smiley self. Needless to say I have been very concerned for her well-being and shed quite a few tears over these.

We are praying for all obstacles to Mercy's homecoming be removed. We are praying that any approvals we need will be obtained quickly and without fail. We are praying for a hedge of protection to be placed around Mercy. Also, we are praying that the finances needed for travel will not be an issue and that anything we need for when that time comes will be there. We are trusting God for his love and protection over Mercy's life. Our hope is in Him.

The Kindness of "Strangers"

2009-11-17T23:31:00.004-06:00

I've recently become "bloggy friends" with a wonderful family from the midwest who is currently living in Italy and adopting from Haiti. Her husband happens to travel to Ghana quite frequently with his work.

I was blessed when she wrote recently to ask if there was anything I had wished I would have brought back from Ghana but didn't. I was amazed by her generous offer and wrote her back to let her know I had bought a Ghanaian clothing item for everyone but myself. She quickly offered that her husband needed a reason to shop in Ghana and that he would be on the lookout for something special.

The box arrived the other day and I opened it to find an exquisitely embroided ensemble and a figurine that symbolized "life is precious". The outfit also came with a headwrap that I have not quite mastered (yet). I plan to wear it on the day Mercy is dedicated at church.

I feel blessed that God chose to connect me with this family via the United States, Italy, Haiti & Ghana. The world is certainly feeling like a smaller place all the time.

Pictures Are Better Than Gold

2009-11-11T11:08:00.002-06:00

A friend's husband got these pictures of Mercy while he was in Ghana recently. New pictures always bring about a flurry of emotions. I wonder what she is thinking. I wonder if she wonders if I'm really ever coming back. Oh how I love this sweet, spunky girl!

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Psalm 130:5

A Life of Excess

2009-11-10T10:21:00.008-06:00

I sat in our basement yesterday and cried. I've been cleaning, organizing and purging down there in preparation for adding another member to our family and was just suddenly overwhelmed at how much "stuff" we have. Mind you, I've already sold or given away huge amounts of "stuff", but I still felt deeply ashamed of all that we have.

"Stuff" packed up in boxes. "Stuff" we don't care about. Boxes and boxes of clothes the children have outgrown.

Why. oh. why. did. we. buy. all. this. STUFF!?

We do not live an extravagant lifestyle by American standards. I generally clearance shop and don't spend any money on perks like a professional dye job or manicure. We don't live in a huge house or have a new car. Our shopping and spending habits changed drastically a few years back when Jeff lost his job, but we still have work to do. Learning the difference between what we NEED and what we WANT has been good for us all - including the kids.

When I looked around at all of our "stuff" I realized how foolish and wasteful it was. I wept for the dollars I spent on things that don't matter to us. Things that get shoved to the back of a closet. I think of all of the good that could have been done with that money. A few dollars here and there would have added up to a lot that could be given to people making a difference or to people lacking the basic essentials to live.

The truth is that I have a deep desire to simplify. I want to be a better steward. My possessions have slowly lost their meaning and I am thankful.

Orphan Sunday

2009-11-08T00:30:00.002-06:00

10 Ways Every Christian Can Care for the Orphan:
1) Pray for them
2) Speak up for them
3) Provide for their needs
4) Support those who support them
5) Protect them from harm
6) Visit them where they are
7) Give sacrificially to them
8) Encourage them to press on
9) Adopt them into your family
10) Mobilize your church for them

Orphan Sunday from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

November 23rd

2009-11-04T22:19:00.005-06:00

...is the day we have our FINGERPRINTING appointment! Of course I wish it were next week, but I am thrilled that we have an appointment at all. Knowing we are in the home stretch is quickly becoming the hardest part of the wait. It's like having a piece of cheesecake sitting in front of you, but being told you can't eat it. HARD!

I was blessed with new pictures today. One of them shows her talking on the phone with me. I love, love, love this girl!

The Good, The Bad, and the Wee Bit Sad

2009-11-04T08:12:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions kind of day. I was thrilled to wake up and find an e-mail containing the last bit of stuff we needed to file our I-600. It is a huge relief to have everything to be able to do this. It was sweet to see our last name behind Mercy's on an official piece of paper. Unfortunately I can't do anything with this paperwork because of our expired fingerprints.

Normally I would be semi-content to wait, but the reality of Mercy's living situation has me feeling in a hurry. I haven't said much on here, but the orphanage where Mercy was living was closed at the beginning of summer. She has pretty much been bounced around from place to place since then. She is currently being cared for by a lady I was told is her grandmother, however, the social welfare report I received says it is her aunt. Familial terms seem to be used very loosely in Ghana so it's hard to know how exactly this person is related to her. I did have someone check on her last week and was told that the "grandmother" was out traveling and she left Mercy in the care of her older male cousins (again, a guess). You can imagine that this has been very concerning. If she were in an orphanage setting I would at least feel confident that she is being supervised and fed. The reality is that I don't know either of those things are happening right now.

It was also the sad realization that one year ago yesterday Anchise was placed back with her mom. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on Anchise and my journey to Haiti. The truth is that I wouldn't change any of it. I am so thankful for the people that I've met by being a part of the Haiti crowd. I am thankful that I got to love Anchise (and still do). The reality is that I think my children are best cared for by me. If Anchise's mom is able to care for her, then that is where she belongs. Maybe my role in her life was to reunite her with a mom that loves her. I may never fully understand it this side of heaven, but I am at peace with it.

If you feel inclined to pray, we covet your prayers for Mercy, our fingerprinting appointment and the final steps to bring her home. Please pray for our remaining finances needed ~ we need about $1,500 yet to buy Mercy's plane ticket and my in-country expenses for pick up. Also, please take a moment to pray for sweet Anchise. I pray God's blessings are showered on her and her mother.

Jumpin' the Hoops

2009-11-02T12:24:00.004-06:00

One of the things non-adoptive families have been curious about is why in the world your fingerprints expire. All I can say is that it makes no sense to me personally. At some point you just get used to jumping through all the ridiculous hoops. You almost expect them. Like if something actually made sense it would almost make no sense to someone who's been in the adoption process for some time.

Our fingerprints expired last Thursday and I haven't received a new appointment yet. I was excited when I went to the mailbox today and found an envelope from USCIS. The letter said this:

We have received your request to be re-fingerprinted. You will receive an appointment letter within 6 weeks. If you should have any questions please contact your adoption agency.

Seriously? They sent me a letter to let me know they would send me another letter with an appointment. Why not just schedule a time and send one letter thus freeing up more time of one our valuable government adoption workers? Nothing really surprises me at this point, but after talking with Mercy this morning I am happy to jump through whatever hoops necessary. It is worth it. She wants and needs a family. We want her to be a part of our family. I will keep jumping with God's strength.

But I will sing of your strength,

in the morning I will sing of your love;

for you are my fortress,

my refuge in times of trouble.

Oh my strength, I sing praise to you;

you, oh God, are my fortress, my loving God.

Psalm 59:16-17

Duck Duck Goose

2009-10-28T21:29:00.008-05:00

Mr. B and I went to the park today to feed the ducks and the migrating Canadian geese. It was a great distraction from the ongoing waiting. We haven't had a very nice fall so it was good to enjoy a day outside with warmer temps and a bit of sunshine. The geese were a bit aggressive this year and would literally walk right up to us to grab some bread. Brezlan got a big kick out of it as you can see by his expression. I can't wait for the day when Mercy can join us in these fun, everyday activities.

The Care Package Take 4

2009-10-23T23:50:00.003-05:00

I think this is the fourth care package we have sent to Mercy. Knowing she has new things sent by us makes us feel just a wee bit closer to her. Her favorites are the pictures and chewing gum. That girl LOVES chewing gum. And of course she wouldn't be a good Ghanaian if she didn't carry some of her items on her head. Love that! Love her!

Remembering Patience

2009-10-20T23:32:00.008-05:00

I met MANY amazing people during my time in Ghana. One of them happened to be a wonderful young lady from Germany named Steffi. She e-mailed me some pictures she took the other day and many memories came flooding back.

Some of my time there was spent with a precious little one named Patience. This sweet girl had a deep sadness that I will never forget. When I saw the picture of me looking down at her I was taken right back to that moment and all of the feelings that went along with it.

I am thankful that my heart has been broken for "the least of these". It's good to be changed.

14,984...

2009-10-19T19:53:00.006-05:00

...is the number of Delta miles I need to get a free ticket to Ghana. Today I received a wonderful gift of Delta SkyMiles! Combined with the miles I had from my first trip I am only 14,984 short to get a reward.

The best part of this gift, however, was the message that came with it. You see, this person was gifted with a ticket to visit her son last year. She, in turn, felt the Lord's prompting to return the favor to me.

It made me think a lot about how life would be if we purposefully sought out ways to bless others with both our time & treasures. I feel personally challenged to do better in this area. I think it would make this crazy world a much nicer place.

A generous man will prosper;

he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Proverbs 11:25

Six!

2009-10-14T00:01:00.004-05:00

Happy Birthday sweet Mercy! Today you are six years old. I pray that someone is making you feel special on your big day. We thank God for your life and pray His blessings will be poured out on you.

I talked with Mercy on Monday afternoon by telephone. She seemed very sad which I have not experienced in previous conversations. She asked many times when I was coming for her. The person with the phone said she is expressing a lot of concern about wanting to come home. I have been told her adoption decree will be ready for pick up today and I pray it is true. This precious one (and all who are waiting) needs the love and security only a family can bring. Lord, let it be!

The Gift of Encouragement

2009-10-12T11:16:00.006-05:00

Adoption is HARD on many levels. It is hard financially. It is hard emotionally. It's hard spiritually as you struggle day to day between trusting in God's timing and my own selfish "I want it now" attitude.

I believe that people need encouraging words to press on ~ especially since most faith journeys have their share of struggles. There have been many times recently when I have felt weak and it is the encouragement and prayers of friends and loved ones that have kept me going.

When we came home from church yesterday we found the gift of encouragement tucked in our doorway. The note said:

Salzwedel Family ~

We love that you're living out God's command to care for the orphans and making Mercy a part of your family. What a blessing for her to have an earthly mom and dad as well as the opportunity to be brought up in the Lord - her heavenly father!

We pray this gift would be helpful to your family as you bring Mercy home! We're praying for you all and look forward to the day we'll meet her.

Stay strong in the Lord as you wait on His timing! Blessings.

Inside the card was a very generous gift to our adoption fund. Praise God for this encouragement. Praise God for these anonymous givers who did more than just help financially, but ministered to our spirit to keep pressing on in faith. We are feeling grateful, humbled and encouraged.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on

toward love and good deeds.

Hebrews 10:24

2 Outta 4 Ain't Bad...

2009-10-09T22:58:00.008-05:00

...but it isn't that good either! Remaining needed paperwork:

Birth certificate...check! In hand.

Relinquishment...check! In hand.

Dad's death certificate...check. In hand. Oops...there's an error with the name. Uncheck.

Adoption Decree...nope. We were told it would be ready today, but no dice.

It's been five full weeks since we passed court in Ghana so we are really at a loss as to why we don't have the decree. The weeks drag by waiting for this silly paperwork that is separating us from our daughter. I wonder what Mercy is thinking and if she worries I'm never coming back for her. I pray her little heart is protected during this season of continued waiting.

I love the Lord because he hears my voice
and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen,
I will pray as long as I have breath!
Psalm 116:1-2

Miracles Happen!

2009-10-05T22:50:00.002-05:00

Give justice to the poor and the orphan;
uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.
Rescue the poor and helpless;
deliver them from the grasp of evil people.
Psalm 82:3-4

Denial Is Not Just a River in Egypt

2009-10-04T22:01:00.005-05:00

I've been putting it off and putting it off, but I officially need to get my butt in gear and send in a request to be fingerprinted again. Sigh.

I'm already regretting informing USCIS of their error on our new I-171H, but I didn't want it to cause problems in the long run. So tomorrow I will begrudgingly draft a letter requesting a new appointment. I will mutter under my breath about my husband having to take an unpaid day from work, arranging for childcare x3 and possibly an overnight stay to drive 4 hours each way to have this done.

Most of all I will remember the words spoken to me a few months ago...

"If she is not home by the time your fingerprints expire, then I'm not doing my job".

C'est la vie...

We Are Made For Family

2009-10-02T19:24:00.002-05:00

What's Your Name?

2009-09-30T22:06:00.005-05:00

Just for fun and just because I need to remember our silly, beautiful girl and her laugh. Mercy thought her new last name was quite hilarious.

Miss. that. girl.

Wordless Wednesday - Pressure

2009-09-30T10:53:00.007-05:00

Said acquired paperwork

still not in hand...

The Back-Up Plan Gone Awry

2009-09-28T20:13:00.011-05:00

We've been doing a lot of things around here to save money. We've changed insurance companies to get a better rate. We switched to a bundle package to save on our phone/internet/cable. Best of all we have been in the process of refinancing our house to get a much lower interest rate and save money on our monthly payment.

Since we have some equity available in our home we were initially told we could probably get at least a couple of thousand in cash when we refinanced. Needless to say we were thrilled at that prospect and that it certainly would be an answer to prayer! We just found out our home didn't appraise high enough because of the market so we no longer qualify for that type of loan. We can still refinance, but there would be no cash out. Bummer.

I checked with Jeff's work this week about borrowing from his 401k. They do not offer a loan program through his employer and adoption was not a qualifying event for "hardship withdrawal". Drat!

Two. doors. closed.

Wahhhhhhhhhh!

I've sat down several times to fill out an adoption loan application, but it just doesn't feel right. I make up my mind that I'm sick of wondering where the money will come from, I pull out the paperwork, and I just can't do it. Something deep in my gut tells me it's not what I've been promised. Plus, the thought of filling out another 10 page form to prove myself worthy AGAIN doesn't sound appetizing (although I'd do it if I felt I was meant to).

So as we reach the final stages before Mercy comes home and I compare what we have vs. what we need, I get overwhelmed sometimes. I know many adoptive parents are in this same situation. I have been trying very hard to cast all of my cares and not carry this burden. I pray every day for clarity and wisdom about finances. There is no back up plan...God WILL provide.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Matthew 6:31-33

Breaking News

2009-09-26T20:15:00.005-05:00

Our facilitator spent 5 hours at the birth and death register, but I am thrilled to report we have a birth certificate. We also have the death medical needed to get the letter. It is expected we will have the adoption order by mid next week and then we can file our I-600! Once we have this approval it is just waiting for the visa and then I can travel and bring her home.

The potential hold up is that Mercy's passport has not yet been applied for. I am told it will be applied for on Monday and that it can take 6-8 weeks or longer to be approved. I am praying that somehow her paperwork will get in the right hands and we will have quick approval.

Please pray for speedy approvals for all necessary paperwork. We are praying for God's continued provision for the pick up trip. What seems to be impossible for us has always been proven POSSIBLE with God. It seems we could be in the home stretch...thank you Lord!

Next Week

2009-09-24T21:03:00.007-05:00

Today was the big day - the day I would get an update on the status of my needed paperwork. Here goes:

Adoption Decree: person who signs them has been out for two weeks. He did happen to come in today and managed to sign two decrees. The assistant took them to foreign affairs to be stamped, but can't remember which two names were signed for.

Verdict: It will be ready for sure by NEXT WEEK.

Birth Certificate: New and efficiently done computerized (?) birth certificate process vs. handwritten. I am in the middle of this new and improved process.

Verdict: It will be ready for sure by NEXT WEEK.

Death Certificate: Oops...did we need that?

Verdict: It will be ready for sure by NEXT WEEK.

It's been a downer of a week for me so I was really hoping for some positive news. I know I've had a bad attitude, but I need to choose to praise instead of feel down. I am reminded how weak my flesh is. I am ashamed when doubt creeps in and I am blinded to the fact that God is faithful. I am saddened that I so quickly forget the amazing ways God has provided for this journey. I hate that!

I am hoping and praying that NEXT WEEK I will be able to report that I actually have all of these things. Please join me in that prayer.

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Hebrews 10:35-36

No Words to Speak

2009-09-21T21:35:00.004-05:00

I don't know what to say that you haven't heard before:

Frustrated with not having paperwork that I should have had a long time ago...yep, you've heard that one already.

Worried about the cost of bringing her home and how to come up with that...yep, you've heard that one too.

Sad that this time last year I was preparing to go meet Anchise and now I'm feeling raw again with that date on the calendar approaching...been there, done that.

I have many thoughts and posts swirling in my brain that I don't know how to put into words where my heart will be clearly understood. I will just say I need prayer. I am at a loss.

WHEN is She Coming Home?

2009-09-16T16:42:00.006-05:00

That is a superb question my friends! I only wish I knew the answer. We were thinking it would be 4-6 weeks from when I left Ghana, but alot depends on a few sheets of paper.

We are needing some specific paperwork (one of which I THINK we will get for sure this week):
~ birth certificate
~ passport (can't get without the birth certificate)
~ adoption decree
~ father's death certificate

Once we get these papers we can file our I-600 locally. I've talked to the gentleman who handles our case in our local office and he told me to e-mail him when I was overnighting our paperwork so he could watch for it. Once we have I-600 approval we will just be waiting for her visa to be issued and she can come home.

I am going to be an optimist and say she will be home in the next couple of months. I am praying somehow it is before October 29th when our fingerprints expire. Nothing is definite in this process, but all in all I would say we have had a pretty good timeline. God is able, so we just keep on praying and believing!

Life is Grand When You're 4!

2009-09-15T00:10:00.000-05:00

Could someone please stop time? I want to freeze Mr. B in this moment and not let him grow one bit more. My wild child turns 4 today. Four...wow.

Let's just say Brezlan is full is personality. He has an opinion on everything. He is a total momma's boy. He loves digging in the dirt and trucks of all kinds. He LOVES pancakes and would eat them for every meal if I would allow it. You never know what he will say. He has no fear. He makes me crazy and delights my heart in every way possible.

Happy Birthday baby boy! We love you so much.

Two Weeks

2009-09-11T11:12:00.007-05:00

It's been two weeks since I...

saw her face

touched her hair

held her hand

rubbed delicious smelling cream on her

colored with her

heard her singing

bought her plantains

cut up her "kitchen" (chicken)

watched her dance

played countless hands of Uno with her

watched her working with playdough

held her tight while she mourned

walked the streets of Ghana with her

drank tea with her

heard her laugh

watched her pout

snuggled in close with her to go to sleep

heard her call me mommy...

I. miss. her.

Lord, please remove any obstacles to bringing her home.

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
Matthew 7:7-11

How God Sent Me to Africa

2009-09-08T15:39:00.007-05:00

I've really been struggling with what to say on the old blog. I'm still processing the events of the trip and all that I've felt about it since being home. In light of that I thought I would take a step back and share how God provided for this trip.

When I heard I had to go to Ghana I'll admit I freaked out a bit. As I've said before, we do not have credit cards to fall back on. I know that is something a lot of people have opinions about, but it's what is right for us. We made a lot of poor choices using credit cards when we were younger and quickly learned they were not healthy for our financial situation. God used some really hard financial times to teach us about good stewardship and I will praise Him for that trial until my dying day.

When I shared with all of you that I had to travel, a few people helped spread the word that we had an immediate need. In typical God-like fashion I was blown away in how IMMEDIATELY we were provided for. In one weeks time we received almost $1,000 in donations. Initially when I checked ticket prices they were around $2,200. After waiting a couple of additional days to book my flight and checking at a couple of travel agencies, I was able to get my last minute ticket to Ghana for $1,400. Amazing!

I called a friend to see if I could borrow some luggage from her for the trip. Not 45 minutes later someone who I hadn't discussed our luggage situation with showed up at our door with a brand new 3-piece set of luggage. Amazing!

God even provided right down to the shoes on my feet. When I went to Haiti the cheap sandals I wore were trashed by the end of the week. I knew if there was one thing I needed was a good pair of shoes to wear. I went to a local store and ended up finding a pair I loved that were even on sale. They didn't have my size in stock, but a store about 30 minutes away did. The sales person offered to have them hold them for me, but with all of the preparations going on I didn't have time to travel to pick them up. I ended up running into a friend on my way out and told her what I was doing and about the shoes. She offered to drive to pick them up for me and pay for them on top of it all. Amazing!

The day before I left we received a donation in the mail for $200. My flight to New York was delayed due first to computer problems and then the weather courtesy of Hurricane Bill. I ended up missing my flight to Ghana and had to spend the night in NYC. I was not blessed by the airlines with a voucher for the hotel and ended up spending $160 for a room close to the airport. If I hadn't had that $200 come in I would have been short on cash in Ghana. Amazing!

These are just some of the amazing ways God cared for us so lovingly on this trip. So when worry starts to creep in about how to afford ANOTHER trip back to pick Mercy up I try not to think about it. God CLEARLY has this covered. He deserves all the glory. I continue to be amazed by His faithfulness.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Philippians 4:19-20

Coloring

2009-09-03T22:29:00.003-05:00

We spent LOTS of time coloring at Rye Manor. I think she could have colored all day long. I sure miss that girl.

The First Time I Saw Her Face

2009-09-02T15:07:00.012-05:00

After an interesting flight to New York and subsequent full day delay in getting to Ghana courtesy of Hurricane Bill I arrived in Accra.

It was strangely familiar to walk off the plane and onto the tarmack. The heat hit my body the moment I touched the ground. I walked toward the building knowing my life was about to change in a whole lot of ways. I made my way through immigration and customs and followed the winding ramp down praying I would see a sign with my name on it. I recognized my driver Edward immediately.

The drive from the airport also had a sense of familiarity. The heat, sights and smells were reminiscent of my time in Haiti. At a stop light our car was approached by a man in a wheelchair begging for money. A young boy tried to clean our windshield for a small fee. We continued down the streets seeing trash, people , barbed wire and many small buildings full of people selling their wares.

We checked in at Rye Manor and dropped off my bags before we proceeded to the children's home. I was greeted with hugs and smiles from the children. They all wanted to be held. Each of them a beautiful treasure - deserving so much more, but making the best of the hand they had been dealt. I adored them all, but quickly found a favorite to share a few moments with before heading to Mercy's grandmother house to pick her up.

We left the home and drove down the bumpy roads to Mercy's grandmother's house. Passing people and buildings, unaware of where we were going or how far we would have to drive. In the distance and on the left I saw a little girl twirling in her peach-colored dress. I couldn't see her face, but even at the distance my heart knew that I was catching my first glimpse of Mercy. We pulled over and got out of the run down vehicle. We crossed the street and I saw her standing by a line of homes. The little girl in the peach dress - Mercy in the flesh. I could hardly believe my eyes.

I was introduced to her grandmother and what I believe were her brothers. I restrained myself and asked if I could hug her. She said yes and we talked for a few moments. Her grandmother handed me her bag and we walked to the car hand in hand. We were immediately mother and daughter. No looking back. I could hardly believe it was real. The day I had dreamed about had come to pass.