Sunday, January 31, 2010

A Weird Place To Be

It's really strange and difficult to blog these days. The vast majority of adoptive families I've become acquainted with have brought their children home from Haiti in the past week. While I have rejoiced and cried happy tears for them, I'll admit it leaves me feeling a bit left behind.

The e-mail from our facilitator earlier in the week said he was "sure we would have it (the passport) by Friday". Friday came and went without a word either way. Sadly, it's what I've become accustomed to. I don't feel sad. I don't feel mad. I just really don't feel anything.

Another week gone...c'est la vie.

Another Monday looming.

Another week of possibility.

Praying I don't make it to another Friday without any news or progress.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Won't You Come Out and Play?

Sometimes I wonder how often I can tell you we have no passport before you just want to run away and hide. Like seriously...she's talking about the passport AGAIN! Blech!

I'm hoping you can help me pass the time by delurking on ye olde blog. If you are a regular reader, an occasional reader or you've just stumbled upon our adventure by some unfortunate mishap, PLEASE give me a shout out in the comments section.

Seriously people...I'm getting desperate here! Pretty, pretty please? I promise it won't hurt a bit.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Meet Edward

I'd like to take a moment and introduce you to Edward. He is our facilitator in Ghana. He's the guy that picks me up at the airport (did you know his car runs on prayer?), carts me around to all my appointments while in Ghana, taught me how to exchange dollars for cedis, showed me how vodaphone worked, and gave me kudos for not making him spend hours at the market. He taught me how to negotiate with the vendors and got a few good laughs when I was willing to walk away from a purchase and got chased down in the parking lot! He's also good meal time company with his stories of Ghana.

Edward is the dude on the ground who makes it all happen for us in regards to Mercy's paperwork. Could you please take a moment to pray for him? He is a really good man and I am praying that he would find favor wherever he goes this next week...say to places like the passport office & the embassy.

You see, on Wednesday I received a most delightful e-mail from the U.S. Embassy in Accra stating they had received all of our paperwork and that our in country representative could pick up the visa appointment package to proceed with our case. Well, that is a LOVELY thought, but it can't happen without that passport.

Passport + Visa Appointment = Home

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Perseverance

I've never ran a marathon...and most likely I never will. I do feel like I've been running a different sort of marathon, however, for over two years. For the past few months I feel like I can see the finish line in the distance, but just can't seem to get there. In the last few weeks I feel like I can see the finish line, but truly don't have the stamina to even TRY to cross that line. That, my friends, is a miserable feeling.

These feelings of hopelessness and fear have been compounded dramatically by the events in Haiti. Wondering about Anchise...seeing all of the children from her previous orphanage come home and feeling like that should have been my moment too. Let's just say it's been joyful and brutally painful all at the same time. I've been struggling with many emotions and I have had more than a few desperate heart to heart talks with God.

I am so thankful that time and time again He chooses to meet me exactly where I am at. Lovingly bringing me back to a place where I can see His goodness.

I have been struggling with unhealthy fear of what "might" happen. After losing Anchise I still have this underlying anxiousness that in the end Mercy will not come home and we will lose yet another daughter. For the last few weeks unhealthy fear has robbed me of hope and joy; the enemy has discouraged me.

As my morning devotion and verses on perseverance encouraged me, I felt the strength to finish rise up in me again. It is worth it. I am thankful for the changes made in my life through this process. Mercy WILL come home. Thank you Lord for being with me even when I am struggling and helping me continue to grow.

Unchangable and unshakable God, through the friends you have sent in my life and by the power of your gift, the Holy Spirit, help me to stand up under trial and prove my character true with perseverance when under fire. Give my faith courage and endurance so that my life shows forth your enduring strength. Through Him who remained faithful unto death, I pray. Amen.

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
James 1:2-4

Monday, January 18, 2010

Up in the Air

Mercy's elusive passport has still not been obtained. I was told today that they reapplied (for the third time) and that we could expect it in two weeks. Keep in mind that when I hear "two weeks" what I am really thinking is that it will be "two months"...or maybe "two years". We are now running into the day that the new and improved biometric passport system will start.

We passed court five months ago. It's starting to feel like an eternity.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Broken

I don't even know what to blog. I feel torn and broken by the events of the week.

My heart aches for the people of Haiti. For the friends I made while I was there. For the beautiful people whose lives have been ripped apart by this tragedy. Praying and desperately hopeful for the families in process that God will make a way for their children to come home now. Yet my little Haitian girl...I have no news of her. I do not know she is safe. I am not in the process to bring her home and I may never know if she and her mother survived. I am feeling raw and praying that somehow we will get word of her - good or bad. I am outsider to the events that are happening there and yet they effect me deeply and personally.

On the other side of the world I have a beautiful girl waiting for a passport so she can board a plane and come home.

I don't know what to feel and yet I must find a way to get through the days for my family here and keep looking to the God who sustains me.

The Lord is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation.
He is my God and I will praise him,
my father's God, and I will exalt him.
Exodus 15:2

Please pray for Anchise. Please pray for Haiti. Please pray for Mercy's passport. Pray.

If you feel led to make a donation to help with the crisis in Haiti here are some amazing organizations that would benefit greatly from your support:

Monday, January 11, 2010

Kicking Me When I'm Down

Last week was B-A-D! It was a horrible, awful, no good, very bad week. I was overwhelmed by feelings of sadness that we are still riding this rollercoaster. Another week with no passport and seemingly no one in any hurry to get that task completed.

In typical fashion to top off my feelings of helplessness and disdain ~ our furnace went out! When I realized it wasn't working (around 11 pm when everyone else was in bed), I fell down on the floor in a big lump and cried the ugly cry. But it wasn't really about the furnace at all (although I shuddered at the additional expense when I am trying desperately to SAVE for the trip). It just all hit me like a ton of bricks that she is not home yet. Other families that started in Ghana when we did have had their children home for a few months now and frankly that is a bitter pill to swallow.

I know there are many people praying for us and for Mercy's homecoming and I know that and God's grace is how I get through the days and weeks of the endless, mind-numbing wait. The weekend was better and today I am feeling OK. With God's help we will make it through this and I hope be better for it on the other side. Please keep praying for that passport so our beautiful girl can come home to a family that loves her so much!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Friday, January 1, 2010

The State of the Union ~ January 1, 2010

The good news is at all of our paperwork is at the Embassy in Ghana! The bad news is that we have no passport (STILL!!!!). And without a passport all of that precious approved paperwork does us no good at all. If we had a passport we could potentially have a visa appointment in the next week and then Mercy could come home.

Honestly, I've been angry that we don't have it yet. It's something we should have had MONTHS ago. And now we could potentially run into a problem because Ghana is now in the process of changing to biometric passports. I am frustrated. I am weary with this process (as many of you are).

We went to bed last night around 12:30 am, but I was wide awake at 5:30 this morning thinking about Mercy, the passport, finances, the "what-ifs". My thoughts were was racing. I generally don't let my mind get the better of me on stuff like this, but I find myself waking often at night thinking of Mercy.

We started the process of adoption in the early fall of 2007, which makes me about 27 months paper pregnant. The elephants gestation period is 22 months - the longest of any land animal. At this point I feel like it would have been EASIER and less painful to give birth to an elephant!

Please pray that we are miraculously able to get Mercy's passport this coming week. Please Lord, make a way for our precious girl to come home!